I think Hank missed one of Spam's key attributes. Spam will never replace bacon cuz, well nothin's better than bacon. But even as a smoked meat item, bacon has to be refrigerated. So as a camp food, bacon is only good for shorter hikes. Spam is canned, and does not need refrigeration. So Spam is perfect for camping; it'll keep forever. And no one goes camping that long, what with deer and elk season combined being only a few weeks long. And Spam is even available in small slice packages, so you can cook it up out in the woods, bait a bear, and not have an empty tin can to pack out.

And Avid had it close, except no French's yellow mustard ever never! Yuck, what putrid stuff. Have some class, man. Every classy camp box is equipped with Plochman's stone ground mustard, which has a bit of horseradish, making it the perfect accompaniment to Spam and damn near any kind or piece of camp meat. Except bacon, of course. No civilized person uses mustard on bacon.