So I took the plunge and bought myself some yard birds. First time having these stupid little drunken creatures as a willing adult. We had these fvckers growing up, but dad always sorted out the particulars and I just had to feed em' on time of face the "hose of suffering". Dad was an asshole that beat mom, but not because of the chickens I don't think, but maybe because I can see how they'd drive a man to drink.

Anyway, now that I have these sonsabitches, anything in particular to look out for or do? I want to be a good, caring poultry husband as I want my bitches earning their keep and giving me the goods on the regular. I'm not afraid to bust out the pimp hand and slap a chikenhead….just like dad.

They are about a week old now and seem to be healthy, messy little bastards that need non stop attention. They're like trailer trash in that regard so I figured half of you knuckle draggers here would have experience. I got 9 of these dirty hoes. 5 Rhode Islands, 2 white leghorns and 2 brown leghorns. The white leghorns do nothing but complain and the brown ones don't want to work. One of the brown leghorns is fully retarded and not well in the head. I named her/him/it after somebody that posts here.

So...anyway.