I raised chickens. I went the route of using an incubator and eggs.
Here's what I can recall from my yoot:

-You can hold chickens by their legs, turn them upside down, and they will go docile until you plop them upright again. It's a great party trick and fun to do with chickens from owners who think their chickens are family.

You can also take a big bullfrog and if you flip it on it's back on to the palm of your hand, it will splay out and go docile until you flip it back over. We would catch multiple bullfrogs and see how many we could stack up before the stack of frogs fell out/off of your hand and bullfrogs went leaping everywhere.

Fun times. Oh sorry, go derailed there.....

-Weasel/minks are chicken killing machines and can fit their little evil bodies through the smallest of holes. You know you'll have a mink/weasel problem when you discover all of your chickens in your coop have no heads.

-A coat hanger with a curve bent on the end of it and a hatchet work well to harvest chickens. Secure the cent end of the coat hanger around said chickens neck, pull towards you and preferably over a log/stump, and chop off the chickens head. I recommend you not do this around your horses, as they get agitated and tend to want to kick the headless chicken around like a soccer ball.

Chickens become tough and only good for soup stock really quickly. Pretty sure you will have them as egg layers and then pets until they pass. DogFish has the poultry/harvesting side of chicketing down to a science.

Get a cat to catch/eat all of the new rats at your place, as you will now have a rat problem.

You will find a chicken or two with a wonderful personality and those will make for a good/fun pet. They will follow you around, talk to you, eat out of your hand, and they probably think you're a fellow chicken bud. Maybe 1 in 10 turn out this way. The rest are, well, just fvcking chickens.

PS. "Mentally Challenged". Brown. Wobbly. Sickly looking. Any chance this poor little chicken is a of the Skykomish Hillbilly variety? Kinda sounds familiar.