I was fishing in Colorado, saw an old tiny cave in the hill with smoke stains, found an obsidian axe head after digging for 5 seconds with a stick.

Was fishing a river, found a mortar (as in mortar and pestle) that is ancient made from the same rock that was all over the river. It’s a fancy one with embellishments along the side and a grip.

Never won a thing.
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Maybe he's born with it.

Maybe it's amphetamines.