Two for the road (river?):

A grasshopper walks into a bar one night. The bartender looks up and, seeing the grasshopper, says "Hey, we've got a drink here named after you".

To which the grasshopper replies "You've got a drink called Irving?"

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A man was teaching his beautiful young wife how to play golf one afternoon. At the first tee he cautioned her about the houses that bordered the left side of the fairway. Sure enough, her approach shot veered left and crashed through the window of a very expensive-looking home.

Doing the right thing, the couple knocked on the door of the home to speak with the owner about damages. A voice inside asked them to come in. As they walked in to the large conversation pit they saw the broken glass and a beautiful lamp that had been broken by the golf ball. A man sat at the couch and asked them to sit down with him.

When the couple started to apologize for the mishap the man held up his hand and said "Don't worry, as I'm not mad at all. Actually I was the Genie trapped in the lamp and for rescuing me from my centuries of confinement I will offer you three wishes, but with a catch. I have not been with a woman for thousands of years and it would be an honor if I could be intimate with your beautiful companion, just once."

Unsure of how his spouse would take such an offer, he turned to her and asked her opinion. As the Genie was not unattractive, and as the rewards were great, she agreed to the deal.

The Genie took her upstairs where they spent the better part of the afternoon in carnal bliss. As the two finished their marathon session and started getting dressed the Genie asked the woman "So, how old are you?"

The woman replied "I'm 27. Why do you ask?"

The Genie responded "Aren't you kind of old to believe in Genies in a lamp?"