Last year, I was driving down to the Kalama from Tacoma. I got past Longview at about 5 a.m. and all of a sudden I started getting an upset stomach, which quickly led to shooting cramps in my abdomen. There just aren't any relief stations between Longview and the Kalama River Road, but I figured if I could just hold on, I might make it to the outhouse at the beginner's hole.

The cramps would come and go at about 3 minute intervals and they got sharper and sharper. By the time I got to exit 32 I was literally standing on the floorboard with my left foot while driving, trying to maintain control of both the car and my bodily functions.

It was still pitch black when I wheeled into the parking lot at beginner's hole. I slammed on the brakes and slid to a stop in the parking lot by the outhouse. I cut off the engine and hot-footed it toward the relief station. I totally forgot that they have these big boulders set in the ground around the john. I ran right in to one of them. I was wearing sandalls and I slammed my right knee and big toe into one of them and just went sprawling in the mud.

I rolled toward the outhouse, in the mud, got back up on one foot and hopped into the john on one foot. How I maintained control, I still don't know. I sat there in total darkness in agony between the fire in my knee and toe and fire down below.

After I was finished with my business, I continued up to the deadline, still in the dark, put on my waders and went fishing. My foot was just numb. As the day went on and I got a little feeling back, my foot felt wet, but I just figured it was my sock all wet from the mud. When I took off my waders at the end of the day, I saw that my sock was half soaked through with blood and when I took off my sock, my toenail was half ripped off.

I don't remember whether I caught a fish or not.