You've been doing your homework my good man. Both of these items have my name written all over them. \:D ;\)

A month of hand written "deep longings" by some sacked out old blister, no doubt. I'll stick with my Penthouse subscription. It's cheeper. \:\)

The other one sounds great, but neglects to mention the inevitable cold knee to the groin when the eveing is over. No thanks. Been there, done that.