I used to practice drinking almost every day, I was pretty good at it by the time I was seventeen, but there is no way any body could get me drunk enough to sh*t myself and then sit there and stew in it, that's messed up man. The rest I've pretty much covered, minus the skirt and nylons.
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"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the War Room!"
President Merkin Muffley