To the hairy pitted, sundress wearin’, leather skinned woman who confronted me in front of the post office today, seething with anger and choking back tears, telling me "how much pain" my yellow lab was in, and that he "could die in minutes in this heat".

I'm glad you were able to overlook the fact he was still dripping from playing in my sprinkler, had a 3 gallon bucket of water to drink, and was in the open, exposed bed of my truck. I was also unaware it was, "140* in the back of that truck"...

After I pointed out the still wet hair and drinking water bucket, and you responded, half teary eyed, "can't you see how much pain he is in?" I hope you did not take it too personally that I then told you to, "go tell someone else how to run their life".

I would have told you how I really felt, but the fact that 8-10 people had gathered to witness your hysteria, and the 3 guys in business attire who were filming the whole event on their phones, resulted in me staying unusually reserved.

As I type this, my lab, Moose, is playfully dragging the sprinkler around my yard yet again, and is in fact, very much alive. A miracle, considering the near fatal experience he endured today.

You go smudge yourself down with some sage, maybe do a little chant or two, and steam up some tofu. I'm gonna go throw a few bumpers in the river to keep Moose in top form, so he's ready to retrieve all those tasty little birds I'll be gunning down in cold blood this fall.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to educate me about proper pet care