Chasbo, first, sorry you are going through all of this stuff. I will just speak from my experience. My ex and I had a friendly split up, although at first I was mad and thought I would take her to court for everything, but that was just out of spite and I knew it. We resolved to sit down and divide up everything. We both paid for an accountant to go over the 401ks to determine what was in there before marriage and what it earned over time then subtracted that amount out and split the rest.

The only difficulty was the house. We finally agreed that I would keep it and cash her out, but she agreed to knock off 10% of the appraised value and we got estimates on what needed to be repaired and subtracted that off the price. It turned out to be a good deal for me.

The rest of the stuff we just picked what we wanted. She got the stuff you would expect a woman to want and I got the stuff a guy would want. We didn't care about value. We split up the furniture and other household items. She kept her car and I kept mine.

We each hired our own attorney to go over our agreement and file the papers. It cost me less then a thousand. In fact I asked my attorney how I did in splitting up everything and she said you could have done better, but I would have spent more fighting for more equity in Court. She then asked if we were both happy with the agreement and I said yes. Pretty much said everything right there.

You need to think straight too. Go from being overwhelmed to taking control of your life. You have a future and this is no time to be burrying the old head.

Get a separation agreement too, like was mentioned so neither of you are responsible for each other's future debts.

Good luck!