Does anyone know how golf got it's name?

Because [Bleeeeep!] and [Bleeeeep!] were already taken.

I'll give you guys a hint at just how bad I golf. I played on a co-ed team last September in a charity golf event. It was a 'best ball' event, and it was a struggle for me to use 2 drives that were mine on the front 9. I officially gave up woods, and switched to irons. After that, I was keeping up with everyone.

Once I get within 100 yards, I'm on fire, but put a lot of green in front of me, and I'm a hack. If you're a bettin' man, pay me and I'll play for the other team.

How about a golf joke for you golfers:

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Toward the end of the golf course, Harry somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.

Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden . . .POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life....as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

THEN POOF!....she was gone.

After Harry got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred.

"Fred, where are you?" Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the pussywillows."

Harry yells back......

"DON'T SWING FRED!!!" "For God sake, DON'T SWING!!"

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Stew, those two words represent nearly half of my vocabulary on a golf course.......but when I write them in as substitutes for numbers on the score card its only because I ran out of fingers to count on.

Once read a golf tips column where someone asked the pro, "What causes a slice?" His reply was, "Too much fishing!" I sold my golf clubs after reading that bit of advice.

Got back to the game two years ago. I don't have an established handicap, but the following incidents pretty much reveal my skill level. Once, I got a birdie on the first hole at Lake Wilderness. It was a humane kill; the robin never knew what hit him. The best score I've ever had for nine holes was a 36. That day, a junior high girl had joined me on the first tee, and I was motivated to show her how the game was played. She shot a 34. Golf is a humbling game!

Aaaaaahhhhh,
The day the now infamous emu caper (hopin' I wouldn't bring that up eh RT?!?!? ) started!!! Fishin' for summer steelies in the morning and 18 holes in the afternoon, what a great combination!!! That was a beautiful mid-week July day. We played Newaukim Valley that day, it is pretty wide open but a nice course. The Ft. Lewis course is a great layout and it is now open to the public but I'm not sure what would be decent close fishin' that time of year. Never played Lewis River, that would be a good middle ground for the Oreo's and Wassie's to meet up at. If we did this in the summer I think either the Lewis or the Cow for fish and either Lewis River or Newaukum in Chehalis or Riverside in Centraila would be good choices for golf. Fishin' in the morn and the loud cry of "Oh s**t....FORE!!! in the afternoon would be a blast. Sounds like a great day, count me in. My Ping's also collected a lot of dust last year and I had made a promise to myself to play more this summer.
Good luck and tight lines, Jeff

I took up golf some years ago so I could spend some time with my Dad ( he does not fish).. Sort of like smoking.. before you know it your hooked. I can shoot anywhere from low 80's to high 90's. I have a 16 handy cap right now. One thing I have found to be a small advantage with being a golfer. It used to be that my family would try and get me a present it would be fishing related. I would always get some crap like a package of bobbers, a little mepps spinner and a stringer (remember those???)Anyway, now they just pick me up a dozen Strata's and I am happy as can be..

One of my buddies says he golfs so he can have a reason to hate himself.

This isn't meant as an insult, but this thread reminds me of my great uncle, who passed away in 1989. He was an avid fisherman and hunter, but also fairly well-read.

Anytime we drove by a golf course, he would laugh and talk about acquaintances who would hit the green regularly. "Golf is for people who don't know how to masturbate," he would say, and laugh.

Everytime I drive by a golf course, I think about that.

HT

Now Now there you little Emu Fornicator
The day in question was my first round of the year,so I'm surprised I even found the fairway
Sounds like a great idea

"Is it a bad thing when you're club flys further than than you're ball does"...... ...Os

use to work at the clubhouse on mcCormick woods in port orchard during my high school years. had free golf on the nicest course around I think. and it totally sucked. rather catch the 5 lb trout in the ponds,Ben

Why do you think they call them strokes??

I'm afraid my secret is out...Now my buddies know why I hit it in the trees...

Count me in...sounds like a lot of fun. Maybe a 4 man best ball scramble.

Further evidence how twisted RT is that he'd think of an idea like this!

Oops . . . too quick on the trigger!

I used to golf a lot. Played in local events, etc. Always bummed cause I didn't get more chance to fish. Had between a 3 and 5 handicap.

Now I golf in the single digits (less than 10 times a year). Don't know what to expect with the sticks anymore . . . but I do get to fish a LOT more. :p

Gold Mountain (either course) or Vicwood would be good centrally located courses that cater to all levels of golfers.

I'd definitely be up for a little Flog, 'specially when you mix it with fishing!

Brian

I'm loaded and ready!!!

fp

Using your members to golf with. Ouch. Now I know why you were in porno's RT. :p

I was on my high school varsity golf squad. Does that count for anything?

Fortunately for me, I threw away my clubs a long time ago and have not been dumb enough to buy new ones. I'd rather spend the thousands of dollars and get a drift boat these days.

How can such a silly game piss off so many people?

I golf, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. If I'd stunk at anything else for as long as I've stunk at golf, I would have given it up years ago.

Golf is a four letter word. They call it golf because "sh!t" was already taken.

I will look into the Fort Lewis course for us all. That's south of Tacoma for all you westsiders. Anyone golf Whipering Firs at McChord AFB? That is also a nice course. I think this would be a great idea.

RT: What time frame are we looking at? Format? Est. number of players? Sign up roster in e mail form maybe? Prizes? Snacks/beverages/barbecue to follow? Let me know, so I can approach the guys on the commitee at Fort Lewis. I could get a picnic spot on Fort Lewis for a possible barbecue afterwards. Let me know.

ET: I'll golf with anyone, why? Because I know there isn't much chance of me beating ya.

All this interest is great! Haverod' (give us your first name), if you will be the event organizer, I will be your assistant (I've organized a few tennis and raquetball tournaments when I was the manager of Beavertons's Western Athletic Club for a few years). I suggest targeting the first half of June, after the springer fishing has tapered off and before the kids get out of school and families take off on vacation. That will also give time for guys to plan ahead, and to practice some.

I agree that 4 man teams in a best ball scramble format is the way to go. That's what we do in the Portland State Coach's Open fund raiser tourney's. Another thing to do is get a course reserved at a certain time for a "shotgun start", for a certain number of entered and pre-paid teams. Likely, 18 teams is easily reachable, which would work well for a shotgun start (with all teams sent to each of the 18 holes, and starting at the same designated time, along with a starting pistol blast optional). This takes much less overall time than sending out teams 12 minutes apart, and there's no waiting around for others to finish afterward. 18 X 4 equals 76 golfers - and if there's more who want to join in, many courses will allow 5 man teams because the best ball and SG start goes along at a good clip; which would allow up to 96 golfers. With 4 man teams, they must use at least 3 of each member's drives off the tee. If you have an 'ace' on your team you could then use 9 of his drives. After the tee shots, each successive shot is taken by all team members from the spot where the best ball landed of the 4 (or 5) guys. Even with puts. That makes for very good team scores, and a load of fun (with no pressure on those whose games are 'off' that day).

Guys can get their own 4 man teams together to enter via a set up entry thread on here, and/or via e-mail to Haverod' and I; when a June weekend date gets picked and a course chosen and reserved. For those without enough golfing partners we can put them together in 4 man teams. Anyone interested that can get some sponsor prizes for the top 3 or 4 finishing team scores would be a nice bonus, but not necessary. There will be posted team bragging rights I'm sure . This is a can't miss fun format. At the PSU alumni golf tourneys, the more the beer takes affect during the round, the more you start hearing "FORE" around the course. BBQ'd hamburgers and beverages can be set up for afterward. If we pick about a noon time start, those that want to fish for a while ahead of the tourney will have some time to do so.

We need more feedback about interest, and prefered courses and dates. How does a Saturday or Sunday on June 1 or 2, June 8 or 9, or June 15 or 16 sound? We need an event name too. Post your feedback. Thanks guys.

RT