It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez,

the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.

"Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you
do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"

"Who said that?" she demanded. Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said, "You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, we're in BIG trouble now!"

Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

Finally someone throws an eraser at Pedro, someone shouted "Duck"!

Teacher, just waking, asked "Who said that?" Pedro: "Dick Cheney, 2006."

Nice one Jabba!

Here's another Friday funny:

A guy walks into his place carrying a sheep under his arm. His girlfriend looks up from her reading as the guy says "Here's the pig I sleep with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend says "If you'd take the time to look, you might notice that that's a sheep under your arm.".
To which the guy replied "If you'd take time to notice, you might figure out that I'm not talking to you!".

a boy is in school when the class begins to discuss the careers of the kids parents.....when the conversation ge around to lil billy he says" my father works in a bar where he dances for other men in his underwear, and sometimes they put money in his underwear... if they give him enbough money then he takes them to a room with alot of couches in it.....

after class the teacher keeps billy after class and asks him if what he told the class about his father is true......

billy gives an ashamed look and says......"well i made that up'

the puzzled teacher asked him why so billy tells her " i was too ashamed to tell the truth"

"well what is the truth" demanded the teacher

"that my father is a consultant for the bush administration" replied billy

You are so Clever, Lupo!