Some few of the haranguers, the mirror-holders, the hall monitors of the twentieth century survive into blessed old age.
These whistle-blowers who disguise themselves as comedians and humorists occasionally get away with it, and live deserved long life: Bob & Ray, most of the Monty-Pythons, Mencken, Thurber, Dorothy Parker. But the others - John Belushi, Lenny Bruce, Ernie Kovacs, and especially Bill Hicks - are unmasked early and dispatched rapidly by an unseen agency, often before we have fully appreciated, or fully catalogued, the profundity of their humor.
Rykodisc has released all of Hicks, all in one place, to preach, teach, amaze, and amuse. Here was a man who had the scales lifted from his eyes and made the rest of us laugh as we stumbled towards him out of the darkness. Who else in history ever noticed the plain old oddness of Christians protesting capital punishment (without it, there's no Easter!)? Who else could look at the warning on cigarette packages and see behind it the implied, phony, invalid security of the tobacco-free ('Here's a shock, non-smokers...non-smokers die EVERY DAY!"
But how do you sell somebody a Hicks collection? He would ask an audience if any of them were advertisers or marketers. He would then encourage them to kill themselves as the only means of saving their souls. This would get a huge laugh of recognition. Then he'd insist he wasn't joking. This would get a larger laugh still. Then he'd insist he wasn't joking. This would get a larger laugh still. Then he'd insist there was no punchline coming. This would launch hysterics. Then he'd speculate that the marketing men would believe he had cleverly adopted the "anti-marketing marketing method." And this extension of one germ of comic genius and social satire would continue to spiral up and up like the double-helix of DNA.
So don't buy this stuff to enrich the manufacturers of Hicks estate. Tell yourself you are buying a vaccine against bull****. Hell...try to write it off at tax time. If you can't destroy the system, at least make the machine cough once or twice.
A lot of us amateurs can make people laugh and some of us can occasionally even make people think twice about the daily nonsense of their lives. But with his clarity of vision and gift of words, if Bill Hicks had had any more time he might have started a revolution. Maybe with these CDs he DOES. Maybe now he WILL!
Keth Olberman
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"I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the ****ing arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the **** out of them. We're like the bullies of the world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet.
"Pick it up."
"I don't wanna pick it up, Mister, you'll shoot me."
"Pick up the gun."
"Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister."
"Pick up the gun."
(He picks it up. Three shots ring out.)
"You all saw him - he had a gun."
Bill Hicks
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
Bill Hicks
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The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride....
...and we kill those people.
Bill Hicks
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If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches? (sorry gh)
Bill Hicks
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Fundamentalist Christianity - fascinating. These people actually believe that the the world is 12,000 years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.
"Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years."
Well how ****ing scientific, okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble. That's good. You believe the world's 12,000 years old?
"That's right."
Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?
"Uh-huh."
Dinosaurs.
You know the world is 12,000 years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the ****ing Bible at some point.
"And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big *ucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend.
"And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch for O so many years inviting thousands of American tourists to bring their fat *ucking families and their fat dollar bills.
"And oh Scotland did praise the Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. Thank you Lord."
Bill Hicks
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How come you never hear any positive drug stories? "Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."
-Bill Hicks
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"If you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, then go home and burn all your records, all your tapes, and all your CDs because every one of those artists who have made brilliant music and enhanced your lives? RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrEAL *ucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so *ucking high they let Ringo sing a few songs"
Bill Hicks
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"Christmas is an American holiday." - micropterus101