QUESTIONS:

How many beers does it take to go fishing?
Do you need enough to fill your waders, or should you stop when your so wasted you fall in ankle deep water? Does being a fool make you catch more fish? How many little kids need someone screaming MOTHER F#*KER every other word?
PLEASE, let me know because I'm planning a fishing trip and I want to be sure to have a good time. I don't want people thinking I'm a noobie and don't really know how to fish.........
Thanx in advance, ''GUTZ"

Talk about a "back door" fishing story.....C'mon what's the deal? I'm only guessing that you had such an experience. If so, sad experience.....and probably not so unusual if you go to places popular with crouds, but uncommon with most. Don't let the bad apple(s) spoil the barrel.

Actually, I don't drink any alcohol when I'm fishing--- I save it for afterwards.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with a whole lot of the evils of man, I myself have drank and smoked enough stuff to kill at least half my brain, I'm just glad I don't ever use more than half. Hell, all through high school my ol'man used to say if I had more than !/2 a brain I would take it out, play with it and lose the damn thing!
The area I fish daily is the same area I've been fishing since 87, and I realize that times change. There are alot more people to contend with to say the least. I myself have had no run in's with anyone per say, even though I do have alot of BAD ENERGY I would'nt mind releasing . What I feel bad about is the trash from 3 or 4 cases of beer every outing. soon the whole place will be shut down just like so many others in our state. I't would be BS for me to pretend I am some goody goody redneck, I was just wondering how much is too much...........

So did the evening crowd get a little nasty with kids around after I left last night?

I know that place has had a few bad apples the last couple seasons, like the time the drunks were yelling for more beer and their buds would throw the beers from the beach up river nearly hitting other fisherman so they could drift the beer down to the other drunks who continually had to talk loud enough for a 100 people to hear how many fish they snagged that week while everyone watch them taking fish to their cars so they could fill the stringer again.

Besides all that did you get something other than pinks? how 'bout Jim?

I'd like to go tonight but got to go home and take care of the pets while the wife takes mikey up to harbor view to look at his foot he broke doing his sky high free style motocross a few weeks ago, 7 pins and a plate, ouch! darn kids.

Ah, Gutz visited the Puyallup again?

I'm with Jerry. I typically like to fish hard and drink later.

On a similar note:
Say you've had 3 or 4 beers while trolling for salmon. The call of nature beckons so you whip it out over the side of the boat. Just as the flood gates are opened ol' mr. salmon hits and starts ripping line from your reel threatening to spool your arse...

Knowing there is no way to stop once you've started, do you let go of the garden hose and grab your fishing rod, peeing all over the inside of the boat and all over yourself, or do finish what you've started and risk getting spooled???



I know what I would do... but then my boat is aluminum and it washes out pretty easy...

I'm sure I'll hear from 'the king' on this one for being a pu$$y but here goes.

If you're alone on your boat and peeing over the side, getting spooled by a runaway salmon should be the least of your worries. The #1 cause of recreational boating drownings is MOB while peeing.

For goodness sake, if you're alone in the boat pee in a bucket.

Anyhow, that way you can carry the bucket with you to deal with the fish

Only a Cracker would pee on him/herself! I would let the fish yard on the line all they wanted to. Odds are, you'll still get it.
I say enjoy that piss and reel in the fish later!

As for the beer thing, As BrotherChin. Parker' didn't catch crap on the Westport charter until BrotherChin handed him a beer. Once I cracked open that Cold One, it was like I had opened up a can of Magic. Ah, sweet, sweet, cold Magic!

"Beer will never leave me. Beer is my only true friend."

-Homer Simpson

"If you're too drunk to fish, you just might be a redneck"....

Lets just clarify this a little...

I didn't pee on myself but I did pee on the outside of the bucket...

My fishing buddy, he tries to grab my fishing rod out of the holder while I was, shall we say, busy... Instead I holler at him... thats mine. I finish the duty and hand him the bucket and grab my own fishing rod.

Get this... he actually took the bucket and dumped it for me while I was fighting the fish...

Now who's the cracker...

How good a buddy are you?

True story...

How did he pull the bucket out from underneath you while you where on it

Interesting you should ask.

I was fishing sockeye in Barkley Sound with NOFISH and Cowardly Lion last year when one hit while I was getting ahold of myself. I just held a rod in each hand till I was done pissing. Then I fought the fish with my paints down. And since fishing was fast and furrious, I left my paints down till I put the clip back on the down rigger and lowered it to the appropriote depth. Before I could get my paints up the rod went off AGAIN.

This happend four times in a row and I played and landed all four fish with my paints around my ankles amid 500 boats watching the spectical. No joke.

Definately a man with his priorities straight. Wouldn't mind fishing or tipping a beer with Sol some time.

Gutz - fishing or not, many people just don't know how to have a 'good time' that does not involve alcohol.

When I come accross guys like that (drunk, beligerant, dropping the f-bomb every other word, etc) I just move on and tell my kids as we go "rembember how we don't call people 'idiots', well, this is one of few times that we can..."

But in their defense, sometimes they are just too drunk to realize how stupid they are acting (sounds kinda obvious, but whatever). Once at a Mariners game some guys were drinking and cussing non-stop while sitting right behind me, my wife, and kids. If it was just me I would have hardly noticed or cared, but I was raised to have respect for those around me - especially women, kids, and the elderly. So I asked them (being polite) to tone it down for my wife and kids sake. They were very apologetic and we didn't have any further problems. I think the beer gives people tunnel vision in that all they see is themselves and their buddies. Rednecks need it so they can have 'beer goggles' so the nasty chick with missing teeth and fat roles hanging out her too tight half length tank top magically dissapear

Watch it pal...
She's not missing teeth... thats a spittin' gap

sory bout that... but

a. i wasnt THAT drunk...they were only mikes limes

b. i was yelling motherhumper cuz of the presence of kids.

least i wasnt flossing

MMMMM.....BEER

I have been known to have a beer or six. I am usally respectful nonetheless. We limit our consumption to reasonable levels while on the water.

I wasn't there!

The real "GutZ"

I've peed on Bucket before, too

Beer is fine while fishing, limited to quantities that don't change the personality or the motor skills of a person IMHO

Never could drink more than about 2 beers in a month...stuff just makes me feel like a balloon..

However, I have been known to pack along a small quantity of the Nectar of the Gods (more commonly known as Yukon Jack). On those real ccccooolllllldddd, nasty, rainy days it can be a life saver. Just an ounce or 3 in your coffee and you will feel better. Promise!

One rule on my boat is "NO DRUNKS". I'm not about to go diving into the river to drag some dumb ass's ass out who has had too much to drink. (If you fall over while taking a pee, or trip over the anchor line (???) that's different..)
Got no problem with anyone drinking...so long as they know their limits and stay within them.


Mike

I thought Yukon Jack was more commonly known as "swill"

Actually, we used to call it "Snake Bite Medicine", back in day....'cuz if you're faced with the choice of dying from a snake bite, or swillin' Yukon Jack, well hell, Yukon Jack can't be *that* bad...

I always thought Yukon Jack was more commonly know as "Bite Enducer"??

Any fisherman worth his salt can handle 2 rods with ease. It is the ones that can handle 3 at a time that I avoid.

If you sat down to pee ON a bucket (no, not on bucket, on "a" bucket) like yer supposed to, within reach of your rod of course, there IS NO DILEMMA! Reel in now, wipe, and pull up drawers later.

Beer!!!! More Beer!!!!! Isn't that right NoFish and Sol. If I am in the front of the boat I will drink gallons. If I am rowing I dont unless with friends. If Piper was in the boat I would get drunk hit a rock just so I could nock him out for a swim!!! HaHa! Beer builds character especially for Sol and No Fish.

My autosigniture should give you guys an idea of my love of . Being Irish Catholic it pretty much runs in the family.

Having said that I do not drink and fish at the same time. Being drunk just does not enhance the fishing experiance for me in anyway.

Of course it could just be I'm simply too hung over from the night before to be able to enjoy a drink on the water!

I've always heard that if you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

I hope you had enough respect for your boatmates to at least tuck your wiener back in your skivies

Thanks Pat... :rolleyes:
You'd probably back up on the sticks and row over me a few times too... just for good mesure... From now on the beers in the front seat with me... if I swim, the beer swims

Pat "hand me another one" Graham, does not talk with forked tongue. If he would just bring his own instead of drinking all ours he would truely be a "qualified guide."

Still, it's hard to complain when he shares the nectar in his garage fridge. When do I get a key, Pat?

Some leavity for the topic at hand.

I love breakfast beer.

In the predawn twilight with my running lights still casting a green and red glow across the bow, my old merc trolling motor smoking and rumbling angrily, the downrigger cables are making that odd ghostly humming sound, my depthsounder screen is filled with baitfish, my first beer cracks open and I am tasting that first ice cold delicious gulp as both downriggers release simultaneously...

Okay, back to reality....

There's one kind of beer that tastes fantastic while out fishing...... ALL of em!

Actually, there is one that stands above the rest...here's a little joke to help you figure it out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Best Beer !

After a Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says "Hey Sen~or, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness resident replies "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."

mossyback- they dont pop till you do!....its like one of them "your pic gets mine" things i guess!

sky-guy- well placed.....if it doesnt rattle like a can of spray paint...it aint beer

You can have a key next time you come out Sol. But if you do stop by my brothers and pick up some beer or it wont do you anygood. All right I will bring you guys beer next time. But drinking my own is not as fun as drinking yours and No Fish's. I love that slogo of green eggs and ham guy. I will have to get some T'shirts made of that. Especially for Austin since that guy is his hero, at least he likes the books.

you don't NEED any beer for a good fishing trip, unless you're trolling for trout, in that case, a case of beer between two guys will be suffice...i drink a lot...6 nights a week, hasn't been a problem in my life up to this point i.e. never had a dui, wife doesn't nag, play with my little baby constantly, never called in "sick" because of a hangover, etc.....the majority of the time i fish for salmon/steelhead i'm wading so not only do i not want to carry a half rack with me, it can also be dangerous, depending on where/when/how daring you are...many times on the skok i have filled my limit, whether it be the current 1 fish or the 4 fish limit later on, and will go grab a sixer and sass my buddies while i wait for them to try to get theirs....and it doesn't take a drunk to offend people with questionable language-just tuesday on our wade back upriver to the truck, we were walking out empty handed and he said he better not drink any beers on the way home or his wife will never believe that he was really fishing so i came back with "well we better stop off at a whorehouse so at least you can go home smelling like fish!!"....just at that time i see a 12 year old girl sitting along the tree line with her little brother while their dad continued to fish, i felt like such a frigging idiot, i wanted to crawl under a pile of nets!! i apologized for my language and got on my way, sometimes my wit gets the best of me, when i have a good comeback it's most effective presentation is immediately following the setup, oh well it's bound to happen again sometime, hopefully no time soon...the great outdoors should be a safe place to take the kids out and not have to worry about rejects like me and my loud mouth, but realisticly, the skok at the peak of the king run is not the place for virgin ears...my son will be there with me when he's old enough and i'm sure he'll hear some things his mother would not approve of but it's nothing more than what's said on their school playgrounds on a daily basis anyway!! to sum it all up, unless you're kicking back plunking or trolling for trout, save the major beer consumption for post fishing celebrations

Sometimes, you need beer to kill a skunk. I went 6 trips on the Cowlitz without a fish a few summers ago. Hubby kept telling me it was because I refused to drink beer. Sure enough, one afternoon, I cracked one open and no sooner got half of it down than it was fish on.

Was out fishing last week & my friend asks what flavor am I partial to? COLD

Leave the beer at home and take highway 420 instead. Catch fish...catch a buzz...catch hell when you get home.

I work weekends just to avoid the drunk aholes on the weekend. I'll fish with people who drink, but I won't take out newbies who want to learn how to salmon fish while they knock back a six pack.
Honestly I prefer people leave the booze at home and just smoke pot. Less violence, less mouthy, and less testostorone induced stupidity. Of course they may never actually make it past just slipping on thier Tevas to fish but I won't complain.
Saw 3 assaults tonight from the Bar Code. One young man sent out on helicopter to Harbor View for possible neurosurgery. All drunk as usual. I like a few drinks, but the reality of life is that the stuff is dangerous.

NO BEER = NO FISHING.. It's that simple.....

Keith

"Why's everybody alway's pissin on me"

Because you wear a toilet seat for a hat?

Actually Marsha, it because he's always standing downwind. You'd think he'd figure it out.

Kid Sauk, you and me.

Isn't a much better time than watching the sun go down, a fat one in one hand, an esb in the other, watching the rod tip for the last 20 minutes of the tide.