Dear penis....i dont thiiink i liike you anymore. youuuu uuussed to watch me shave.....now all you do is stare at the floor....dear penis..i dont like you anymore....IT USED TO BE you and me...a paper towel and a dirty magazine....thats all we needed to get byyyy. Now it seeeems things have channged and i think that yourrrrr the one to blame, dear penis i dont liiike youuuuu anyyyyymore.

he said


Dear rodney....i dont thiiiiink i like youuuu anyymore.....when you get to drinkin you put me places ive never been before, dear rodney i dont like you any mooooore.


i think we just need to get a grip.....on our man to hand relationship. dear rodney i dont like you anymore....oh rodney...while your sahvin...shave my balls



-rodney carrington

Thanks Sol..........funny stuff! And it's true about the drinking part.

I had my balls shaved when I had a vasectomy.

Something women never say " nice scrotum !!"

When I had my knee surgery the nurse was shaving my leg *WAY* higher than I thought was neccesary as the anistigiologist was putting me under. The last thing I remember before the lights went out was getting an erection.

Too funny dude.

It was weird, when I got the vasectomy, the doctor told me he had two rules 1> he only did the forever and ever kind and 2> he insisted that the patient was out cold when he did it. I asked him why. He says " say I have ahold of your wang, you get wood, then your so freaked out about it that you go home and shoot yourself.. hows that going to make me feel.. huh .."

Thanks...I needed to laugh my ass off today

Had my vasectomy 19 years ago, one month after my son was born. After the procedure and on the way out I asked the gal at the front desk, "when will I know I'm sterile?" The old gal said very business-like, "after 15 seperate ejaculations, take a sample, bring it in here and we'll test it." I said, "okay, see you tomorrow".................she didn't even look up or laugh. True story, I couldn't even get a smile.

LMAO....

When I had mine, I went in to provide a sample to test. They put me in this strerile little bathroom...like that's gonna get me hot..
I poked my head out the door and said, "if I can't have a nurse to give me a hand, how about some appropriate reading material.. They didn't seem very pleased...

When I got my big V, my wife wanted to stay in the room with me since she heard the shots hurt like a mofo (they did, worst part of the whole deal!). The nasty, Broomhilda looking 60-something nurse chased her out saying "the Doctor doesn't allow an audience for his surgeries" ................. my wife left, pissed, saying "Oh , so you get to check out my husband's package for an hour but I have to leave the room?" the doc laughed.........the nurse had zero sense of humor.

thank god for frozen frickin' peas.................

wow......i dont know that i think the big V is a good idea. i think i will push for the Histerectomy. I mean.....i love my nuts but god did not spend a whole lot of time on those darn things. he was done buildin the human body and he had all this left over crap in a pile and he was like " what in the hell am i going to do with this?" bang.....right there. thats how we got nuts.

I'm with Merg on this one. Stopping the pollen delivery to a wilting flower makes no sense. Especially when my wife had to go on fertillity drugs to get pregnant in the first place, and in the case of our first kid we backed that up with artificail insemenation.

The fertility clinic. There's a memory. A small room, a black leather couch, a stack of crappy porn mags and a cup to cum in, located in the middle of an office full of people who knew I was going to go in to beat-off. NOT COOL. My wife came in with me the first time. That proved to be a mistake on several levels and in the end I fumbled the cup, which rolled under the couch when I came. As a joke I filled the cup (about 1/4 cup) to the top with white handsoap from the pump dispenser by the sink and passed it though the little hatch door into the lab. They didn't think it was funny but I'm still laughing. Second time I went alone and although it took forever, I was able to get the precious cargo to the right place.

I asked when can I start comming again or whatever. The guy tells me " Real soon, just be carefull.. The first few times blood will squirt out ".. I sat there like a dumbass in shock. I was about to question that and he says " Hey, I'm just kidding with you.. do you believe EVERYTHING I say ??".

I think the doctors that perform that opperation are inherantly funny. A friend of mine went in for the procedure and after he was all numbed-up, the doc, who had stuffed a coil of 1/8" surgical tubing between his legs, grabs a loop of it in the middle and pulls it up about two feet in the air and cuts it in half.

I'll NEVER get a Vasectomy. [censored] that [censored]!

Studies show that little snip-snip causes everything from Senility to Erectile Dysfunction.

I'll pay for the bastard children. Rent on a Section 8 apartment in the shitty side of town can't be all that much. If my wife want something sterile she can clean the kitchen with bleach for fucksake....or get a tubal ligation.

It's not that tough of a procedure. I literally slept through mine. No swelling, no pain, no bruising. I went to a good urologist in Bellevue. No way was I going to put my boys in the hands of a quack like my cousins over in eastern Washington did. Both had complications, terrible swelling, bleeding, pain, etc. I told them they should have gone to a real doctor instead of the combination "John Deere tractor repair/video rental/vasectomy clinic".

I just had mine today... Laughing my ass off right now and it hurts!!
I went to a guy over by the UW that has a nickname Dr. Snip. He uses a procedure with no needle, no knife, and no stitches. He numbed me up with something that felt like a rubber band snap to the nuts. One each side.... (I preferred that to a needle for sure) Pulls the tubes through a 1/8 inch snip in the center of the nut sack. The procedure took less than 10 minutes and I stood up and walked out the door.
Now I'm a bit tender, but it's not so bad. Mostly just playing it up so that I can relax for a couple of days.
The intake nurse that did the initial interview was hot.... When I saw her I told my wife to leave the office. I was hoping she was going to be the one to shave my nuts.... no such luck. She just showed me pics of the male anatomy and explained what it would feel like. How the hell could she possibly even know?
Anyway, I would recommend this doc to anyone.
Neal

One complaint is that they didn't offer any good drugs. I would have paid an extra $50 for some good mind numbing!