Dear penis....i dont thiiink i liike you anymore. youuuu uuussed to watch me shave.....now all you do is stare at the floor....dear penis..i dont like you anymore....IT USED TO BE you and me...a paper towel and a dirty magazine....thats all we needed to get byyyy. Now it seeeems things have channged and i think that yourrrrr the one to blame, dear penis i dont liiike youuuuu anyyyyymore.

he said


Dear rodney....i dont thiiiiink i like youuuu anyymore.....when you get to drinkin you put me places ive never been before, dear rodney i dont like you any mooooore.


i think we just need to get a grip.....on our man to hand relationship. dear rodney i dont like you anymore....oh rodney...while your sahvin...shave my balls



-rodney carrington

Thanks Sol..........funny stuff! And it's true about the drinking part.

I had my balls shaved when I had a vasectomy.

Something women never say " nice scrotum !!"

When I had my knee surgery the nurse was shaving my leg *WAY* higher than I thought was neccesary as the anistigiologist was putting me under. The last thing I remember before the lights went out was getting an erection.

Too funny dude.

It was weird, when I got the vasectomy, the doctor told me he had two rules 1> he only did the forever and ever kind and 2> he insisted that the patient was out cold when he did it. I asked him why. He says " say I have ahold of your wang, you get wood, then your so freaked out about it that you go home and shoot yourself.. hows that going to make me feel.. huh .."

Thanks...I needed to laugh my ass off today

Had my vasectomy 19 years ago, one month after my son was born. After the procedure and on the way out I asked the gal at the front desk, "when will I know I'm sterile?" The old gal said very business-like, "after 15 seperate ejaculations, take a sample, bring it in here and we'll test it." I said, "okay, see you tomorrow".................she didn't even look up or laugh. True story, I couldn't even get a smile.

LMAO....

When I had mine, I went in to provide a sample to test. They put me in this strerile little bathroom...like that's gonna get me hot..
I poked my head out the door and said, "if I can't have a nurse to give me a hand, how about some appropriate reading material.. They didn't seem very pleased...

When I got my big V, my wife wanted to stay in the room with me since she heard the shots hurt like a mofo (they did, worst part of the whole deal!). The nasty, Broomhilda looking 60-something nurse chased her out saying "the Doctor doesn't allow an audience for his surgeries" ................. my wife left, pissed, saying "Oh , so you get to check out my husband's package for an hour but I have to leave the room?" the doc laughed.........the nurse had zero sense of humor.

thank god for frozen frickin' peas.................

wow......i dont know that i think the big V is a good idea. i think i will push for the Histerectomy. I mean.....i love my nuts but god did not spend a whole lot of time on those darn things. he was done buildin the human body and he had all this left over crap in a pile and he was like " what in the hell am i going to do with this?" bang.....right there. thats how we got nuts.

I'm with Merg on this one. Stopping the pollen delivery to a wilting flower makes no sense. Especially when my wife had to go on fertillity drugs to get pregnant in the first place, and in the case of our first kid we backed that up with artificail insemenation.

The fertility clinic. There's a memory. A small room, a black leather couch, a stack of crappy porn mags and a cup to cum in, located in the middle of an office full of people who knew I was going to go in to beat-off. NOT COOL. My wife came in with me the first time. That proved to be a mistake on several levels and in the end I fumbled the cup, which rolled under the couch when I came. As a joke I filled the cup (about 1/4 cup) to the top with white handsoap from the pump dispenser by the sink and passed it though the little hatch door into the lab. They didn't think it was funny but I'm still laughing. Second time I went alone and although it took forever, I was able to get the precious cargo to the right place.

I asked when can I start comming again or whatever. The guy tells me " Real soon, just be carefull.. The first few times blood will squirt out ".. I sat there like a dumbass in shock. I was about to question that and he says " Hey, I'm just kidding with you.. do you believe EVERYTHING I say ??".

I think the doctors that perform that opperation are inherantly funny. A friend of mine went in for the procedure and after he was all numbed-up, the doc, who had stuffed a coil of 1/8" surgical tubing between his legs, grabs a loop of it in the middle and pulls it up about two feet in the air and cuts it in half.

I'll NEVER get a Vasectomy. [censored] that [censored]!

Studies show that little snip-snip causes everything from Senility to Erectile Dysfunction.

I'll pay for the bastard children. Rent on a Section 8 apartment in the shitty side of town can't be all that much. If my wife want something sterile she can clean the kitchen with bleach for fucksake....or get a tubal ligation.

It's not that tough of a procedure. I literally slept through mine. No swelling, no pain, no bruising. I went to a good urologist in Bellevue. No way was I going to put my boys in the hands of a quack like my cousins over in eastern Washington did. Both had complications, terrible swelling, bleeding, pain, etc. I told them they should have gone to a real doctor instead of the combination "John Deere tractor repair/video rental/vasectomy clinic".

I just had mine today... Laughing my ass off right now and it hurts!!
I went to a guy over by the UW that has a nickname Dr. Snip. He uses a procedure with no needle, no knife, and no stitches. He numbed me up with something that felt like a rubber band snap to the nuts. One each side.... (I preferred that to a needle for sure) Pulls the tubes through a 1/8 inch snip in the center of the nut sack. The procedure took less than 10 minutes and I stood up and walked out the door.
Now I'm a bit tender, but it's not so bad. Mostly just playing it up so that I can relax for a couple of days.
The intake nurse that did the initial interview was hot.... When I saw her I told my wife to leave the office. I was hoping she was going to be the one to shave my nuts.... no such luck. She just showed me pics of the male anatomy and explained what it would feel like. How the hell could she possibly even know?
Anyway, I would recommend this doc to anyone.
Neal

One complaint is that they didn't offer any good drugs. I would have paid an extra $50 for some good mind numbing!

Tequila buddy, tequila.

I feel for ya. I don't care what anyone says, it hurts for a few days. I felt like somebody jerked a cord on my kidneys.

no sh!t!!!! and then the first time you blow a load you dont' know if BBs, buckshot or a gallon of yogurt will come flying out........................

Neal are you part of the frozen peas brigade today? hang in there bud, the first 2 days are the worst..............if you pop a chub it can "tug" a bit..............on the plum locker.......

Yeah I'm feeling that today.... One side hurts worse than the other. Every time I cough or laugh it tugs right up inside my innards.... creepy uncomfortable.

Mingo I've had my nuts on ice so long they are nothing more than little bb's right now. The TRUE definition of shrinkage = cut nuts and lots of ice!... Can't wait to choke out bb's and frozen yogurt! Ughh

I'm sure somebody here could hook you up.

From what I hear if you pop too soon.... (could be a personal problem)... your nuts will look like two balloons...to quote a great band. And from what I'm told it could take three neighbors to load you into the back of a pick-up for a ride to the Doc's.

Good Luck-----RVW

Percocet and beer is the answer to the pain however.

Sol, looks like you didn't have to look very much to find a way.

I had mine 5 or so years ago. Nervous going into the office. Was strange to feel the "snipping" going on down there. The procedure was over and the doc quickly left the room like he'd done a thousand times before. Barely said anything to me. Another day, another dollar for the doc.

So, I am anxious to get out of there. Oh, there was one thing the doc said as I saw the back of his head leaving out the door....."Take your time....."

I just wanted to get out of there (did I say that already?). So, I wait 60 seconds. I get up and put on my pants. I feel a little dizzy. See, I had been all worked up about this and I really didn't know how bad I was "worked up". I just wanted to get out of there.....

So, I feel more dizzy. I put my head between my knees to try and regain some composure. I just want to get out of there....

I say f@!& it and get off the table and head for the door. As I open the door and look directly to my left (still inside the room) I see the operating tray set up at nearly arm pit level. The Doc is my height (6'4") and he likes the tray really high. As my head turns (and I always invision this in slow motion) I see the instruments of my Big V demise. The pic, the scissors, the needle and best of all.....I see all of the blood in the gaze.......Holy Crap!!!

Now I turn, open the door and get the hell out of there....as I turn right to go down the hallway things are not right. I get to the front desk and I walk up to the nurse behind the counter and tell her.....things aren't right........now picture the ending of all the Looney Tunes Cartoons....where the tunnel fades to black......all I remember seeing was the look on the nurse's face as I am just about to black out. She's jumping from her chair toward me and......OUT!

I am waking up on the floor. The back of my head now hurts more then my balls. I look up to see the Doc and the Nurse trying to revive me. NOW the doc has personality. NOW he only sees a lawsuit for not giving me more instruction. NOW I am his most important patient in the world.

I got up. Sat down in the lobby for 5 minutes and drove my arse home. I wanted to get out of there....

My first four years in the Navy was as a Hospital Corpsman. Once day, whle working reception in the lab (regular lady was sick), it was my job to great everyone, verify their paperwork and point them in the right direction. Well one gentleman in his early 40s comes in with who I thought was his daughter. (She looked a year or two older then me). He had just had a reversal vasectomy and was there to see if his boys were there and how many. Well they both go in the "collection room" and he comes out maybe 15-20 minutes later with her after putting the "boys" in the anonymus drum.
I overheard her say to him, "Dear, don't worry, you are not shootin blanks."
Which he asks," Are you sure?? How do you know???"
Then she replies, ' Because I can taste them!"
OMG..I did one of those under the breath snorts to keep it from coming out a full blown laugh!
The girl ended up being his new bride! He was mid 40s and she was 19. Lucky him!!!

Joe

I tell you what....that feeling is unstoppable. Once the process starts...there's no stopping it.

My own expenience was'nt too bad... Went in, they shaved my sack and then pulled out THE NEEDLE!!! Sucker looked three feet long. So I gritted ny teeth, knowing they were gonna jab THAT thing into the boys. Don't worry he said, it's novocaine and you won't feel anything... Well we waited about ten minutes for the novcaine to take effect.. I don't know what happened, but I think partaking of some green combustible matter before my appointment had an adverse effect on how well the novocaine worked. In come the doc, scalpel in hand and proceeds to commence cutting...AHHHHH! I said, and he says "you can't feel that can you?" And I said YES! I can! Then he shakes his head and mutters something under his breath. Out comes the needle again, only this time he jabs into the newly opened incision on my sack and pumps more novocaine in!!! Talk about pain! JEEBUS!!!! then we wait for a few more minutes.. the novocaine is really working now.. The only thing i feel is something being pulled in my groin.. he does some tying that would make any fly guy proud, and then snip! As if that wasn't enough, he pulls on the vein a little bit (just to create some tension), cauterizes it with some miniature arc welder thingy, and lets it snap back into ny body like a rubber band... AND THAT WAS ONLY ONE SIDE! He proceede to perform the same procedure on the OTHER side, only this time the novocaine really worked, me only sensing a little tug and snap effect. I did however, swell up to grapefruit size post op.... there weren't enough ice bags or frozen peas on the planet to soothe what that ghoul did to me... Felt like I got a full-on kick from a horse! Damn! What an experience.. At least I did'nt have any MORE kids to worry about after that..

While I'm having my kidney stone laser zapped I hear the Dr. tell a nurse "Grab his penis and don't let it go".

I was talking with my wife about this tread and she tells me about a guy she works with. when he went in for his "pre-op" meeting with the doctor he asked if there was anything he could do to get ready. He says " you can go ahead and shave it before you come in if you want". So the big day comes and he gets undressed, puts on the gown and layes down on the table. Doctor comes in with nurse and starts getting everything in order. When they lifted his gown, they both start laughing their asses off.. he thought they were laughing at the size of his wang " What the hell is so funny!!" He had shaved off all his pubic hair instead of just the hair on his sack and probably looked like a 10 year old boy laying there.

Man I was about to barf until I got to B Run's comment. I was thinking of having this done but will now sit tight.

OK the most important question I got about getting the big "V" is....... Will it help me catch more fish???????

Joe

It might..... but that could lead to crabs so be careful.

RVW

Worstfishcatcher,

Of course it will help you catch more fish. You won't have to spend so much time working to support extra kids, so you can take some time off and go fishing. It ain't that hard to figure this out, man.

Sg

I had it done, all in all the process was not bad. Minimal pain, minimal swelling. The divorce was worse. The new little lady wanted the opportunity to have kids so I went and had it reversed... can you imagine? That was relatively painless as well.... I am done messing with the program...

TTT

The reviews run from funny to scary. Never having experienced the procedure I can only relate it to the colonoscopy experience. Process was
not bad since they put you out. The prep was a a pain in the ass tho.

Much obliged! And No! I wasn't searching the word penis.

Sure...

I just wish I had joined earlier it's a god d@mn shame. Some great fellars have came and gone. I could spend all WORK day looking through some of the old posts. Would it kill you @ssholes to be more entertaining?

Big stick was talented. But I can't help bit wonder if he was on acid or some alaskan mushroom. 90% of the words he chose I've never even heard of, and I'm not a total idiot. The shots of timber he fell do make bathing suit area feel funny though. Lucky summa ma bich.

Would like to see pics of this "work".
Might be entertaining.

I spend all day in a log truck...you're not missing much. Was that a shot of some kind?

What do you do?

Big V prep...

http://www.piscatorialpursuits.com/forum...html#Post767841

pay DD no mind!