I love my wife. By and large when something stupid happens I did it. But sometimes.. rare but sometimes she pulls a whopper.

Yesterday we were down town and in a full parking lot with my truck so we parked next to a guard rail at the edge of the lot. Went inside etc and then I had to go across the street. She said she would get the truck and pick me up. She pulls up and the entire passinger side of my truck is trashed.

Seems she forgot we were parked next to this guard rail ( Dodge 3/4 ton Diesel so its sits pretty high and she can't see it from the drivers seat). She pulls forward, turns right and the end of the guard rail digs into the back of the front wheel well. There goes the front panel. Hears this, pulls forward some more and now its ripping along the bottom of the passenger door. Stops, gets out and looks at it, can't figure out how to get the truck away from the gaurd rail, gets back in, pulls forward some more and trashes the bed panel as well. It looks like a can opener was run down the entire length of my truck.

I hopped in and said nothing. She said nothing. I waited for about 3 mins.. looked at her, and said in a calm voice " you wanna tell me WTF you just did ".. Instant water works.. Now I'm an A-hole because I got mad.

Sounds like it did about the same thing to your truck that the stupid Elk did to mine. It was a female too. Where's my estimate stam?

Dude.........I could go on for hours.

When we were selling the timberframed Alaskan chalet I spent 8 years building with cash in order to buy our current waterfront home, my wife was cleaning and turned the kitchen stove burners on high, for whatever reason, and then walked away to do something else. Guess what? Can you say fire? The burner caught the 12-foot 4-inch thick solid maple bar top over the stove on fire, which caught the overhead cabnets on fire, which could have burned the whole damn house to the ground if her dad had not seen the smoke and put it out. Major damage. I was fuc%ing pissed.

Another time we were waiting in the airport at Dallas to catch a flight to South Padre Island and my oldest daughter was running around playing on the electric speedwalk next to the gate. I said those things are dangerous and she should stay away from it. The wife got pissed and read me the riot act about being such a hard ass, so I sat the fuc% down and shut up. Not two minutes later I hear my daughter screaming one of those blood-curdling screams that give you dreams at night and I jump up to see her laying at the end with her shirt pulled down into the grate and it is literally tearing her apart. Major skin damage as the grate peeled hide off most of her back. Luckly some guy nearby knew where the shut-off switch was and turned it off or she would have been permenately disabled or died. I came un-fuc%ing glued in front of 100 people. My wife thought I was out of line.

I could keep going.

Good idea, I'll take a pic and show you. You will be amused. Like I told her, " after the initial impact, every time you let the clutch out it cost another 1,500 bucks. " or better yet " did it ever occure to you to put the thing in reverse and ... JEBUS WTF were you thinking anyway ".. I didn't have any hat on. If I did I would have been sure to burn the thing STAT.

I hear ya Sol.. My being a hard ass has probably saved my kids lives more than once. On the other hand, I've done major stuff that was stupid but the only person who was gonna die was me.

I guess I kinda was pissed but just didn't have it in me to just say " Its O.K honey, everyone makes mistakes ".. because I'm an A-hole, or so the story goes.

So how do you get down the road in a marriage with 12 years of that kind of baggage when she is *always* right and make it work?

Fuc% it. This ***** is DONE!

Funny you should ask.....I was taking my son to swim lessons this morning and as I am backing my truck up I notice the side of her van (she's had it a month + 2 days now) and the drivers side has the tell tale marks of a yellow pole 3 feet long. I came in and asked WTF happened....."oh getting gas I didn't see the pole."

Great way to start the morning.

RVW

My wife backed our Subaru out of the garage with her driver door wide open. Rear passenger door, forgot to close it....mmm...ok, I could swallow that, but the friggen driver door?
Damn near ripped it off. 1 Boat buck later it's fixed, painted, and put back on. The next week she hit a rock in the Costco parking lot and scratched the whole driver side up. I hope you like scratches honey!

Damn! And I thought mine was bad.

All Ive had to do was take her off the checking account because she nearly put us into bankruptcy...and I make well into the 6 figs.
Now she only has her paychecks..but they are usually spent before they are printed.

Sounds like a good excuse to come to Washington for a couple of weeks--- get the truck fixed and get some sanity back.

With the kids and grandkids I'll see them doing something inherently dangerous and bring it up and get told to quit being such a negative a-hole. So 5 minutes later the tyke is laying there injured and it is my fault like I caused it to happen because I thought about it.

Does rolling a pick up because she couldn't decide whether to turn left or right count? Luckily, it wasn't mine.
It was a slow roll in a small truck on a soft shoulder. A couple of guys stopped and helped her and her girlfriend roll it back on it's tires and away they went.

YES, daily

Whew! No wife. No problems.

Oh, I had a wife. Yeah, she did something stupid. See above. No wife.

tunakir----
Thanks for the pics. Sent them on to my friend. let you know soon.

Too funny. One of my buddies ran over his wifes dog in their driveway. They live out in the country, nobody was home at the time but him so he threw it in the back of a old pickup he didn't drive anymore and figured to deal with it later. He helped her decide the dog just ran away. This happened in Dec. She found the dog frozen like a popcicle at the end of Febuary. He never did get around to taking care of it, plus he lied to her. They got divorced about a year later. I have always felt that was the straw that broke the camels back

I wish my wife had a dog, and it was winter.

"tell tale marks of a yellow pole 3 feet long"

Note the rear right of my rig...with big dent just barely below the light cluster...yeah, that is yellow paint on it...my lady ran it into a yellow pole while I was right there in another one of our rigs.

She didn't even bother getting out to see what she hit, or what damage she might have done...just put it in gear and drove away.

<sigh>

Fish on...

Todd

Here's a couple for ya...........

First wife: I'm spreading five yards of beauty bark and she's heading to the grocery store. I ask her to get some beer, she asks "what kind"? I answer, "anything but Rainier". She returns with Rainier. She always reminded me of a bobblehead doll in the back of a car window.

Third wife: Scraped a two foot gash in the side of my F-150 while parking next to a dumpster. "I was checking the mirror, too!" Next time, try checking BOTH mirrors.

Memo to B-Run and all of you guys: When the wife screws up, it's pay day. Work it. Night out with the boys, weekend fishing or hunting, and when you got big antlers showing.........she'll smile and do just about anything you ask.

Bought a Tahoe new in 2003 for the wife. Not even the first payment was made and the yellow pole attacks the passenger side, WTF !. Still have not fixed it. Then a couple months ago her sister rolls up with a new truck with the same type body damage. Instead of diamond plate how about some armour plate.

I thought of some stupid sh!t that's happened around my place, but I did it all.

Yes. Yes I did.

I figured those clowns would find out about "the rod incident" whether or not I told them, so I spilled the beans when everyone was all wasted on Thursday night. The clowning was surprisingly light.

I did laugh to myself thinking about Kevin saying "so......what did you throw that rod overboard for?" over and over.

Like stam said........when you're me, you don't have to make this sh!t up.

A year after we got married I had to go out of town for a week So my wife and her friend decide to take my 69 mustang to Seattle .Well it got trashed tires slashed rattle can paint job somebody kicked in a window and door panel . I had spent 4 winters restoring this car now it sits in the back of the shop the only good part of this is fishing trips are no problem if she starts to say something I tell her to go and take a look in the back of the shop

That's why I bought the wife a cheap Korean KIA minivan. Have had it, woman. Like I give a rats-ass how many things she hits, or how many scratches and dents in it. Just as long as my insurance rates don't go up.

Hell, the kids are crapping, pissing, puking, tearing and staining the insides. Might as well thrash the outside the compliment the rig.

Funny reads in this thread, though.

I'd say my ex-wife pulled some bone headed maneuvers but I'm the dumbass who married her.

Oh so you've been there!

These are great. I have had way more 'accidents' than her unfortunately.

Along the lines of getting in trouble for pointing out stupidity. One day she decides to pass a car on the Kamilche cut off ON THE RIGHT WHERE THE BUSSES PULL OVER AT THE TRAIN TRACKS. She has like a 100 foot runway and just goes for it.

We have our 2 week old first child in the back, so everything is freaking us out at this point. I start yelling "WTF are you doing, are you out of your GD mind? Our baby is in here?"

The whole thing was stupid, and still when we go over those tracks *I* get the stink eye.

Oprah tells women they are blameless victims. The message has stuck. They have heard it daily for decades now.

"Victims" that are predisposed to wallow in self-pity. They are their own worst enemy. Equal rights my ass.

Eastern Montana and I get pulled over. Cop asks me if I knew how fast I was going and the wife pops off with "I think he was doing 95 or so".

I am now busting up. That story was so funny, but you telling it, with your head down, shaking back and forth, in your self-disgusted tone of voice, way to funny.

I'm still trying to figure out what part of Dan's pea brain allowed him to throw a fine rod and reel out of the boat.

It was a great day with some great people even though Dan had to throw a perfectly good rod away

So here is one.

We bought a new front loader washing machine. Whatever she wanted it she got it.

One day I am doing a load of my work stuff and I pour the soap in the tray, only the bottom of the tray is broken out. So the soap pours on the floor. I am like Honey what happened?

She goes well the tray had a crack in it so I used a screw driver to break it out.

The machine was like six months old.