BWP-

Send that one as a "primer" to Superfly!

MAN RULES

1) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2) It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances;
a) When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c) After wrecking the bosses's car
d) One nano-second after the fish of a lifetime breaks off

3) Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail out a friend within 12 hours.

5) If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits unless you actually marry her.

6) Moaning about the brand of free beer in your buddy's fridge is forbidden. You may, however, bitch about the temperature if it isn't suitable.

7) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops; not the weakest.

8) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score, but never ask who's playing.

9) It is permissible to to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you are sunning on a tropical beach,if it is delivered by a topless waitress and it's free.

10) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

An elderly couple are sitting in church when she leans over to her husband and says "I just let a very long,silent fart,what should I do ?" His reply,"change the battery in your hearing aids!"

My Private Part Died

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong, 'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.
'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.' Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas. He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.
Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'

'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace. I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.

'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?' (You've gotta love this..) 'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During the tour she passes a room where a patient was masturbating furiously. "oh my" screamed the woman, "why is he doing that?"

The doctor leading the tour calmly explained "I'm sorry you had to see that. That man has a very rare affliction where his testicles rapidly fill with semen and if there is no relief a minimum of five times a day, they could burst."

As they passed the very next room they saw a man in bed and a nurse was performing oral sex on him. Again the woman screamed, "Oh my God! How can THAT be justified?"

The doctor calmly explained, "Same illness, better health plan!"

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach
ache and legs hurt, I no come work.' The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need
you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything
better and I go to work. You try that.' Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what you say and
I feel great. I be at work soon........ You got nice house.'

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."