my friends and I have shared these stories for years. I'll start off...

I just turned 21 and was working in s.e Portland painting houses. my partner and I decided to hit up a bar called Union Jacks on Burnside at around 2:30 in the afternoon. As we walk in, we witness a drug deal right out of the gate, no problem as far as I'm concerned (see no evil..). then we decide to saddle up to the stage (fully loaded with ones).The first dancer comes out and has a smokin' hot body! Young blonde gal which looks to be maybe twenty something?? she dances her set and I dump nearly all the $ I had. I could not get over her tight ass body! when she was finally done she comes around to pick up her tips, she bends over and says, " thank you", problem was ....she had no teeth! flat out freaked me out! I think my junk went from throbbing to turtle if you know what i mean.

Next dancer comes out. she was a little mroe eye friendly (even with her mouth open). After her set she goes to pick up her tips and tells my friend and I, "she blows up tires in the parking lot". you hav eto love Portland strip clubs.

Burnside hey! That was your first problem. You should have tried the Crop. Ask Sol and friends about the Acropolis.

Hey my first strip club was Easy Pieces in Hollywood Florida by Ft Lauderdale.

Foxes in Tacoma nice tabledances back in the day. My bro in-laws came up from Portland and we went for a little action. Got a nice tabledance from a nice brunette. The bump and grind type. Thought I was going to shoot my .........!!!!!!!!!!! She shot some milk!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went to bachelor party this summer and I couldn't believe what I witnessed. Nice blonde was doing things I couldn't imagine. I have to see the pictures.

Rhight on brother! Bachelor parties are a whole different story. The A-crop is outstanding! and great steaks to boot. I have just had some really weird experiences at strip clubs over the years. Love to here some stories. I have a few about Astoria, but would love to here some AK stories.

I got one for ya. Went to a club in BC eh called Delanys one weekend. I girl I know was in town and dancing. So I'm kicking back chatting with her when the Infamous Ron Jermey comes out on stage and warms up the crowd and was pitching something he was trying to sell.
Anyways, the Hedgehog comes back and sits with us. Cool I thought, sitting there drinking beer with the hog and chatting with stripers. Life is good.
Ol Hedgehog was selling poloroid pictures taken with him for $20. So he asks me if I will take the pictures. Sure you bet!!!
All the ladies that came up for a picture, he gets at least one boob out and the moment was preserved.

Good Times.... Good Times

Went to a club in Acapulco with some guys I work with. One of the boys went in the back room with a pretty lady and got the tossed salad and salami rocket stroken'off special. Came back and sat down at the table with his grin and a smoke, only to watch this nineteen year old kid start making out with the same girl. She left and kid sat there with a huge "shiteatting grin." Only to disappear abruptly after being asked, "So how's my asshole taste?" by the guy that was just in the back room with her. Now that is some funny stuff.

ouch!! that will stick with him for a while

Hey Pug, I'm glad your kids aren't old enough or wise enough yet to find this site.

btw/ I call BS on that sick story.

True story. Doesn't really matter I guess. There is plenty more where that came from. You have to hit atleast one strip club in every place you go to. Assuming there is one. You don't even want to get me started on Manzanillo. Vancouver has a few select stories to behold also. Cabo claimed a few dignities I can recall. But Panama is one of the better ones.

Buddy and some others went to the strip club Lima, I don't recall the name, one of those place you have to knock on the door and talk to a Guido door guy to get in. Got knocked around a bit by the bouncer cause he started touching. But she liked him and they let him stay. Nailed her in the secret place she knew about, for free none the less. He left, got in a cab, where two tourist girls from the midwest jumped in the cab with him. He was headed back to him hotel room when the two girls asked him if he wanted to go back to their room. Which he obviously obliged. You can imagine the rest. That was all in one night.

After a week long fishing trip in Alaska, Kid Sauk and I were hanging back and drinking some beers with my cousin in Anchorage. Out of the blue he announces to us that we need to go and play a game of "Alaskan Poker".

Off we went and it didn't take too long until we ended up inside the Alaskan Bush Co. Unfortunately, the place was jam packed. Bummer.

As The Kid and I were standing there looking stupid, my cousin walked up to the front of the crescent shaped stage lined with chairs and started talking to the three dudes sitting in the very center point of the stage. Interesting, they got up and left and my cousin hollered for us to come and take their seats.

Perplexed, I asked him what the frak he just said to those guys.

He said, "I told them that I was the son of the owner, and that they had to get up and leave."

Oh super. Now, we're gonna get killed. Oh well, hope the strippers are cute! (Good one!)

Anyway, he pulls out this massive pile of $1's and proceeds to split it in to three piles. One for me, one for The Kid, and one for himself.

Before the first stripper comes out on the stage, he very quickly introduces us to "Alaskan Poker".

The rules are such:

Each "player" puts down some money in front of another player, or themselves. All players "bet" this way until the stripper comes out.

Naturally, he with the biggest pile of cash in front of them will automatically attract the attention of the stripper.

It's all very cool when the HOT stripper sees that massive pile of money sitting in front of you!!!! Getting the full meal deal from a hot stripper is well worth it.

It sucks SO BAD when Shaquinda comes out on stage, missing all her teeth, and after having just recently blown Sol, proceeds to not only show you the "goods", but tries to kiss/fondle you.

I believe the odds of one getting a "hot" stripper at the Alaskan Bush Co. are NOT in their favor.

I've never laughed and screamed so much in one night. I think we traumatized Kid Sauk that night.

great story. I'll have to remember that game

At the risk of incriminating myself I will tell this story. While in Community college in Orlando I got 500 hits of exctacy fronted to me for a friend who happened to leave to make a pot run to Mexico without telling me. I had to pay for the stuff so I would go into Club Juana before and after class to study and have some of the girls help me get my money back. One day this stripper named Rose was out doing her dance on the pole and right when she had her leg at maximum hieghth she must have farted because diahrea started running furiously down her leg. The few customers that were there, mainly construction workers went into hysterical fits of laughter. She immedietly started crying and ran off the stage. I did feel bad for her but not too bad as she also happened to be stalking a buddy of mine. Bad timing for a case of the speedy browns.-T

flat out nasty!

Dave has removed himself from this thread.
ps Reiter was slow this morning.

Sugars on Aurora. This was a 21st bithday and bachelor party for a couple of the guys in a fairly large group. We arrived in a rented school bus.
We all get inside and order up our pitchers of coke. We haven't been inside for more then five minutes before I see a commotion going on in the corner of the room. The bouncers and managers order all of us to leave immediately.
Someone of our group members had said something to one of the strippers that they didn't like.
One of the strippers was fairly old for this type of work. A guy in our group had asked her "ma'am, does your granddaughter know you are working here?"
She totally blew a gasket, threw a pitcher of coke at the guy and won't stop screaming. Either she had some serious clout or they figured it was easier to ask us to leave then to deal with her.

I thought this thread was gonna be about Stam at his auto shop...

About 3 years ago a buddy and I decided to hit up some clubs. We drive to a club called wild cats in sw portland. As we pull into the parking lot we witness the bouncer throwing a lady out by her hair. following right behind was this fugly stripper. She halled off and punched the gal square in the face. My friend and I were both pretty toasted at the time and figured we better try another spot. So we drive to another place. As we walk in we notice a bartender, DJ, one customer, and a stripper that must of weighed 200+. All eyes were on us at that point, not knowing what to do we decide to sit at the bar. I whisper to my bud, "lets have a beer and maybe there will be batter scenery with the next set." She giggles her cheese for what seemed 20 minutes. As the last song ends we are thinking ok lets see something descent. The dj gets on the mike and says, "Trisha is going to take a qiuck break and she will be right back to dance some more." I'm thinking what the [censored]. She walks by us and gives us the [censored] me eyes, not 1 second later she tells the bartender load enough for us to here, "I have to take a shiat". We quickly bailed to Stars, which is allways a treat. Watched a gal put her leg behind her head while standing

Let's see... on the unusual side... I'd have to say some of the stuff I saw in the Phillipines and Thailand that involved picking up beer bottles, stacks of quarters and shooting ping-pong balls... and that was the mild stuff!

It's just plain AMAZING what twenty dollars U.S. could get you...

Are we playing "guess the STD" now?

Damn. That list is going to be long.....

I can only imagine... were any donkeys or pigs involved

In '96 I go up to Alaska on a Caribou hunt with an old high school buddy that moved to Eagle River right outta school.
He was VERY successul in business up there and always paid my way BIG TIME.

As per tradition we hit the bush company before the trip.

The usual hot Vegas chicks.

This night was one of those nights when it all clicked.

This petite bruenette by the name of "Paradise" had my number.

God she was hot.

Kind of like Debbie Dunning of the "Home Improvement" series.

The long hair surrounding me, the sensual smells and OMG the body.

I'll never forget that beauty working me over to the sounds of Def Leppard singing "Bringing On The Heartache"

MMMMMMMMMM.

Table dances, whiskey, More dances, VIP room, more whiskey, more dances.

MMMMMMMMMM.

It's gettin late, so I tell my buddy that it's about quitting time.
He says "yeah, but I gotta use the men's room" and dissapears for a while.

He returns and says "OK, let's go.

Just then two strippers grab me by each arm and walk me up on stage.

They lay me down on a bench and methodically strip me down to my underwear and take turns peeking at my junk.

The crowd rallies them on.

Music burning in my ears, a serious heat on and naked women groping my body.

It's all good.

THEN, they both start to vigoursly rub my chest hair into swirling knots, like a severly backlashed Shimano.

Days later, I'm still in pain as I try to untangle my chest hair.

He took care of me......Big Time.

We proceeded to have a great hunting trip and my mind kept drifting back to...Paradise.
Very Memorable indeed.

NO FARKIN' WAY!!!

96' you say Sal?

The last time I was in a strip club was the Bush II, 3 years ago and there was an AWESOME petite brunette from New York named 'Paradise' workin' that night! It can't be the same chick... but your description sounds just like her!

I didn't get the stage treatment thank god... but I DID spend more money than I had planned to! She was just plain HOT!!! I wonder if it IS the same girl?

what a great trip!!

My bad.
The memory is starting to go.
It was '98.
And yes, Debbie Dunning look alike.
I still thrive on those memories.

Me too! I bet it IS the same chick! I walked outta there thinkin' I was in love that night for sure! What a small world!

thats great, 4salt and salmonella are having a moment.:)

Shhhhhhhhhh!

I'm concentrating.

Grew up there---dont remember the clubs!

When I was 19 I had a fake ID.

Bored one night, drove up to some schithole in South Tacoma.

First lapdance from some asian b*tch, she gets up and splits, I reach down for my wallet and its gone.

I started panicking looking on the floor, then it dawned on me WTF just happened. I raised unholy cain. I made damn sure to say "Fuggin' bitch picked my pockets!!" loud enough to be heard above the Unch-Unch music they played there. I had a 250lb bouncer standing over my teenage 6'00"125lb scrawny ass but I didnt care. I was sober and was threatening to call the pigs. Those whores that ran that place gave me this and that and the run around. I told them they had 5 minutes to return it or I was calling 911. After 30 seconds it magically appeared..."found in a trashcan"...with every penny accounted for.

Then the C*nts tried to hold it from me and demand a "reward." Needless to say they didn't get one and I haven't had a lap dance since.

Oh, and PS fellas, when I used to work in Casinos the Chippendales used to come through once a year. If you knew what those guys did you'd think long and hard about your wife attending. They ain't gay and they don't 'just dance.' I used to know the guys up in surveillance.

Ahhh strip clubs. WhenI was in high school during my sophmore year I was taking a math class off campus in tacoma. Well they let me out around 12 and I didn't have class till 4:30. So I decided to take a drive to kill time and ran into the most awesome thing ever. CLUB HAS TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS OR JACK COULD GET JACKED. I approached the door thinking No way would I get in but, some smooth talking with the tuxedo guy and a nug passed his way was jackpot city. I went to the club everyday that entire school year that I had that class. The girls knew I was underage and kind of dug it, fresh meat so to speak. No cover free dances I was stoked. From there on I had the science down. From spotting the stripper that would tease you with an awesome dance at the appoach and not get within a foot of you after payment, too the stripper/dancer that had that dirty way of doing business and sat and talked until a song she knew was long, or noticed the dj put the stereo on auto control. I am not talking straight out bjazzzles but no complaints here. I road this throughout my pre 18 time and once I hit I was all jacked up for my 18th b day appearance where all the dancers hook you up and I was a tad nervous I would get kicked out for being a minor all along. Nope, they all knew I was under age from the dj, to the different door men. That club kicked ass until about the years 2000-2002. But 1992-1998 kicked major ass. I'm not ashamed to admit I spent my senior ball their. I am not a bad looking dude at all, I just didn't click with the ladies and wouldn't buy into alot of the school's bull [censored] so I did what I loved best got schmidts drunk and went to the flop. Tons more stories obviously but I'm already at novel level as I type. Cheers to the hard working women of the industry.

One of the better places in Bangkok had an "experienced lady" (read past her prime) open a bottle of Coke with her muff-craw, then proceeded to lie on her back and empty the contents of said bottle into her womanly sanctuary. She got back on her feet and demonstrated her ability to maintain a tight seal by dancing around without spilling a single drop. In order to prove this, she placed the opening of the bottle back where it had previously been and returned the liquid contents completely. Of course this in itself did not provide adequate entertaining shock value for me, until she handed the bottle to a fine young Ranger sitting at the edge of the stage who took that bottle and chugged it all down in one breath to the encouraging "hooahs" from his comrades.

All that before the razor blade chick...

I know there is a new US Army recruiting slogan in there somewhere......

top strip clubs in seattle tacoma vicinty FOR A GREAT LAP DANCEE IMHO. Let's hear yours

FOXS
SUGARS
RICKS
LAKE CITY VU
TACOMA VU
DOWN TOWN VU

Al Bundy said it best...

Where the music stinks,
and they water the drinks,
the nudie bar.

Where the girlies dance
in their underpants,
the nudie bar.

Where you see their butt,
and their trap stays shut,
at the nudie bar.

Where you can't touch a breast,
but you can cave in a chest,
at the nudie bar.

Where you look at a thigh,
and blacken an eye,
at the nudie bar.

Where the beer gives you gas,
but the Bundys kick ass,
at the nudie bar



Where a buck's enough
to see their stuff,
at the nudie bar.

Where the breasts may be fake
but man do they shake,
at the nudie bar.

Where you swear like a sailor,
and wish you could nail her,
at the nudie bar.

Where the cops are at the door,
and there's a Kennedy on the floor,
at the nudie bar.



Also, make sure you turn off your cell phone so that when your wife calls it doesn't somehow answer the call. Just sayin....