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#570294 - 01/08/10 12:16 PM Animal Rights
RK43 Offline
Returning Adult

Registered: 07/23/02
Posts: 476
Loc: Edmonds
Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.

"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong."

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"

"I... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. And, he... He didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know is he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads."

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.

"That's preposterous," said on high ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."

When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.
_________________________
ARGH!!! The cooler's EMPTY!!!

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#570295 - 01/08/10 12:23 PM Re: Animal Rights [Re: RK43]
Chuck E Offline
Three Time Spawner

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 1832
Loc: Kitsap Peninsula
That has be from the Onion. If not, stupid does not even come close to describing the protesters. It should happen more often to these knotheads.
_________________________
"I didn't care what she didn't 'low--I would boogie-woogie anyhow" John Lee Hooker

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#570307 - 01/08/10 12:41 PM Re: Animal Rights [Re: Chuck E]
CHUBS Offline
Returning Adult

Registered: 10/16/08
Posts: 263
Loc: Kitsap county
That is a funny read right there. [censored] morons got what the deserved.

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#570308 - 01/08/10 12:41 PM Re: Animal Rights [Re: Chuck E]
JohnQ Offline
Spawner

Registered: 09/21/08
Posts: 843
Loc: COF in the Upper Left Hand Cor...
_________________________
Upstanding Member of the Porcupine Social Club, ergo, the Old Prick in the Upper Left Hand Corner.

AuntyM -- What Crab Audit???? Not That POS Senior AssHat Published!!!!

Hey Mr Childers, have you corrected that Scofflaw Spreadsheet Yet?????

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#570311 - 01/08/10 12:46 PM Re: Animal Rights [Re: JohnQ]
Salmo g. Online   content
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 13622
The law of natural and logical consequences still at work. Pretty funny.

Sg

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#570312 - 01/08/10 12:47 PM Re: Animal Rights [Re: Salmo g.]
Dogfish Offline
Poodle Smolt

Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 10878
Loc: McCleary, WA
Funny, but a spoof.
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"Give me the anger, fish! Give me the anger!"

They call me POODLE SMOLT!

The Discover Pass is brought to you by your friends at the CCA.

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#570566 - 01/08/10 08:55 PM Re: Animal Rights [Re: Dogfish]
sykofish Offline
I'm not short, I'm 'fun size'

Registered: 12/25/07
Posts: 1492
Loc: Mulletville
True or not, I could see this happening.

I have a few friends who ride and party. They hunt, they fish, and they wouldnt put up with activists for one second.

And they are definetly smart enough to handle the situation in a manner that would discourage any more idiots from trying to ruin one there parties. rofl
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Rusty Bell

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