I decided the board needed a little more humor to get over the locked thread and to add to the levity created by the recent rat hunting adventures.. so here you are, enjoy!


Two Blonde Men


    Two blonde men were in the woods hunting.  One looked at the other and said, "I've got to poop."
    The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and poop."
    The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my butt."  
    The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"
    The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar.  That's a great idea--I'll use that!"  He left and came back with poop all over his hands and clothes.
    His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"
    The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your butt with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"


~~~~~

Top five signs you’ve hired the wrong hunting guide:


5.  Your guide blows into big sea shell horn to attract game and a bunch of Vikings show up instead.
4.  Your guide is completely outfitted with "Barney" camping equipment.
3.  As you close in on a deer, your guide whispers in an Elmer Fudd voice, "Be vehhwey vehhwey quiet."
2.  He calls trees by their first names.
And the number one sign you’ve hired the wrong hunting guide:
1.   He is prone to scream, "Run, Bambi, RUN!"

I have to admit, my eye was drawn to the "blonde" headline. Not exactly what I was hoping for... Why do I feel like I need to wash my hands?

Eddy

I had to go back to the locked thread and see what the stink was all about.

Dang... you two really got me with the Scout Lake and complementing him on that bit of advice. I almost pulled out the map to see where this Scout Lake was.. and what it was really called. I bit on that one..... but guess it's because I'm a bit of the pollyanna and think it's good to pass on info.

If the youngster still wants some duck hunting locales, I have a couple I'll pass on. Only downside to that is these spots are in the Stanwood to Skagit flats areas and what he wanted were some spots over in the PA area. I'd think that PA would have an abundance of hunting spots as it's not as crowded over there as it is here. If you still want the spots, PM me and I'll pass on a couple to you, but remember they start at Stanwood and run north.

Now.... lets get back to something I really care about.... rat huntin'... and makin' them cans rattle at night as the rats scurry around. Oh yeah... I still remember the nasty smell of those dumps. Whenever I smell that smell it makes me want to break out the .22 and the flashlight taped to the barrel... and shoot something.

Bill... you better get crackin... it's prime rat season. I hear down in White Center the average rat they're taking is in the 2lb range with a 13" tail... Trophy/mounting size!!

If you start now, by spring you might have enough to sew together for a beautiful rat skin rug. Sew on tails for the end tassles.. You'll be the envy of the neighborhood!

shoot no... I'd use 'em for seat covers in my jeep.

Back when I was a kid I was skinning out mice and drying them. Told my mom I was saving them up to make her a mouse skin coat. My guess is she was hoping I'd never get that many. Somehow I have that thought that she didn't really want to be the first woman on her block with that type of coat. Besides... they're so thin that they shouldn't be all that warm.

Mom's dead now and I still haven't gathered enough skins.... how about you Kaari... want her coat?

Thanks for the offer... but Sparks has promised an opossum fur hat for valentines day and the two would clash horribly.

Plus, I don't like to draw that much attention to myself... With a jacket like that, I would be the envy of all... Just too much pressure!

Sparky may have promised you a possum skin hat... but I bet when push comes to shove, he saves that possum for fly tying dubbing.

Makes me wonder.... how's he getting his possums? Trapping is illegal these days.. what's he doing? Putting feed in the middle of a road, removing the speed limit signs at either end of the road and later picking up the flat possums???

hmmm.... maybe I should switch to possums too. A mouse ran over in the road is too hard to scrape up. Possums... at least they have that long tail to yank them up by.

I've heard that shining a light in a possums eyes will make them freeze. Maybe he put a bunch of flashlights in the roads to keep them there until they get run over.

Watch out. That hat may have Dunlap tread marks on it.

Speaking of blondes, it seems that George Bush and Colin Powell droped into a bar for a short one. This guy walks in and spots them and asks the bartender if those guys are who he thinks they are. Yep, says the bartender thats them. So the guy walks over to them and says " Wow, its an honor to see you guys here, whats up?" Powell turns to the guy and says "we are planning a war " Really, says the guy what is going to happen? Powell says "we are going kill 100 million Iraqis and one blonde with big boobs. The guy asks "but why a blonde with big boobes? Too which Bush hits Powell on the shoulder and says: " See smart ass, I told you no one is going to
ask about 100 million Iraqis."

Good Night young lady !

hehe I like that one Shark.