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#759662 - 05/14/12 03:24 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! *** [Re: ]
Sol Duc Offline
April Fool

Registered: 06/18/01
Posts: 15727
Originally Posted By: Hankster
You can't discount the possibility she thinks you're to blame and she'd rather hole up in the bedroom than spend time with you. There is no chance...zero, zilch, none, of getting your relationship back to working if you lose communication. It takes an open and honest discussion between the both of you. Sometimes that's hard because feelings are hurt, hackles are raised and it ends up in the negative column. If you two can't do it alone, you need to agree to counseling. If that too fails, you at least know you did everything you could possibly do to keep the marriage together.

Hey, we have our own Dr. Phil. lol
_________________________
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

- Albert Einstein.

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#759666 - 05/14/12 03:38 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: ]
Sol Duc Offline
April Fool

Registered: 06/18/01
Posts: 15727
This thread could become epic. thumbs
_________________________
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

- Albert Einstein.

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#759676 - 05/14/12 04:01 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: AP a.k.a. Kaiser D]
Dogfish Offline
Poodle Smolt

Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 10878
Loc: McCleary, WA
Originally Posted By: AP a.k.a. Kaiser D

I've also noticed that many women lack a true passion for something. Many men do to but having something that you REALLY like to do provides motivation and something to look forward to.

-AP


My wife's passion is roller derby. Takes her away from the family, gives her some "girl time", and helps a lot with her self confidence, which I end up benefitting from as she shows me her new bruises. Lots of bigger girls skate roller derby, too.

Call her a wimp and she'll hip check you into the wall. She has a bumper sticker that says, "Roller Derby saved my life."
_________________________
"Give me the anger, fish! Give me the anger!"

They call me POODLE SMOLT!

The Discover Pass is brought to you by your friends at the CCA.

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#759680 - 05/14/12 04:09 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: Dogfish]
big moby Offline
Carcass

Registered: 08/28/08
Posts: 2150
Loc: varies
I think this thread has gotten away from Saundu.......
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Roger That

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#759694 - 05/14/12 04:42 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: ]
stlhead Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 6732
Originally Posted By: stam
Originally Posted By: stlhead
Women gain weight when they are unhappy.



...being a full figured gal makes you an authority?

It's Hammer Time and Parker comes through. thumbs Part of me suspects that he hired a guide to write that for him...but I could be wrong. wink ...and really, what difference would it make?

Solid.


I was talking about yo mama who became unhappy when you came along.
Anyone who grew up with sisters knows when they are down in the dumps it's time to chow.
_________________________
"You learn more from losing than you do from winning." Lou Pinella

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#759695 - 05/14/12 04:51 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: stlhead]
Todd Offline
Dick Nipples

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 27840
Loc: Seattle, Washington USA
There's a lot of outside out there besides "rotten logs and hard ground"...not that I'd know anything about that, I think I must have read about it on the InterWebz or something.

Fish on...

Todd
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Team Flying Super Ditch Pickle


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#759696 - 05/14/12 04:53 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: Todd]
redhook
Unregistered


maybe you have been a complete asshole to her and she is going somewhere else for sex?


NEVER rule that out in a situation like this...

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#759699 - 05/14/12 05:05 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: big moby]
Dogfish Offline
Poodle Smolt

Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 10878
Loc: McCleary, WA
Originally Posted By: big moby
I think this thread has gotten away from Saundu.......


What else would you expect?
_________________________
"Give me the anger, fish! Give me the anger!"

They call me POODLE SMOLT!

The Discover Pass is brought to you by your friends at the CCA.

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#759706 - 05/14/12 05:24 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: ]
stlhead Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 6732
I wouldn't take too much advice from the divorced crowd unless that's where you want to go.

99% of women do not like to fish, or camp, or get rained on, or get dirty and as for having to be in a good mood in order to have s*x....well duh! It is possible that it's a physical thing. My wife went through a spell until they got her blood pressure med correct. Now she talks too much. But it also could be she's as unhappy as you are.
_________________________
"You learn more from losing than you do from winning." Lou Pinella

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#759707 - 05/14/12 05:24 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: ]
stlhead Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 6732
Originally Posted By: 2MANY
Up where Stam's from I believe outside involves a horse.


Yeah they are all size queens over there.
_________________________
"You learn more from losing than you do from winning." Lou Pinella

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#759714 - 05/14/12 05:48 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: ]
stlhead Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 6732
Sounds like someone is due for another round with the horse.
_________________________
"You learn more from losing than you do from winning." Lou Pinella

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#759728 - 05/14/12 06:07 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: ]
redhook
Unregistered


yo mamma so dumb she thought Grape Nuts was an STD...


sorry, i had to....

back to your regularly scheduled programming...

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#759729 - 05/14/12 06:12 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: ]
stlhead Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 6732
You want my wife to do you instead of the horse? I'd keep looking. My wife is a babe who works out and would kick you in the nuts and then pull out her Ruger SP101. She loves that gun. I don't think she'd stick it where you like though. She doesn't like having to clean it.
_________________________
"You learn more from losing than you do from winning." Lou Pinella

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#759732 - 05/14/12 06:28 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: big moby]
JTD Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 3007
Loc: Browns Point,Wa. USA
Originally Posted By: big moby
I think this thread has gotten away from Saundu.......





Or it seems Sandu is missing from the thread... hopefully he is talking to his wife rather than pointlessly trading insults here.



It is probably too soon for an update but in a society of instant gratification I expect results dammit.


smile
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In the legend of King Arthur, the Fisher King was a renowned angler whose errant ways caused him to be struck dumb in the presence of the sacred chalice. I am no great fisherman, and a steelhead is not the covenant of Christ, but with each of these fish I am rendered speechless.

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#759734 - 05/14/12 06:34 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: JTD]
stlhead Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 6732
IMO, if you are seeking relationship advice on the Dark Side of a fishing forum the mirror is the first place to look for clues. I don't know how many divorces we've seen out here which mostly sound due to "I want to fish all of the time now why can't you just deal with it?"
_________________________
"You learn more from losing than you do from winning." Lou Pinella

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#759739 - 05/14/12 06:56 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: ]
stlhead Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 6732
Originally Posted By: stam
Awesome, now you're gunna pry your wife off of the couch to your defend your *honor*... why does that not surprise me.








You're getting worse. A bit early to be too drunk.
_________________________
"You learn more from losing than you do from winning." Lou Pinella

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#759752 - 05/14/12 07:28 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: stlhead]
Us and Them Offline
Repeat Spawner

Registered: 10/20/10
Posts: 1263
Loc: Seattle
Saundu,

It typically comes down to one basic issue, lack of communication. Now that is just the tip of the iceberg in front of the SS Saundu marriage. Lack of communication has always been there even when you were dating so just talking will not fix it, now. Neither one has confidence in the other re communication and follow through and you do not have an agreed process of communication that works. Both of you have been cataloging the perceived slights of the other for many years now and now there is a massive wall of resentment between the two of you. That wall cannot be knocked down it has to be disassembled a piece at a time.
So you have to decide one thing and one thing only, if you love her? If you do then you have to decide that you will do anything you have to fix your issues that have prevented you from having a happy and fulfilling relationship. Then she has to do the same. For you that means find a counselor that you can work with a start peeling the layers of the onion named Saundu. Once you have made some progress the counselor will decide its time to add Mrs Saundu to the mix or not. It may not work it out it might but you will be a better person for it in the long run. .

I look at it this way. I made a promise to my self, my wife my friends and family in public that I would keep my word. No one forced me I came up with the idea all on my own. I compounded that choice when I decided to have kids. Nothing in life worth a dollar ever comes easy, everything I value has come at a price. People give up on themselves too easily in my opinion and it makes it easier to give up on others. They live a compromised life because of it.

A friend of mine confided in me late last year that he and his wife had only had sex with each other 12 times is 25 years of marriage. He was miserable, I asked him why not look in the mirror and find out why he allowed it to get that far. He dropped dead Feb 12th . Moral of the story is, life is short, shorter for some more than others. Every day spent unhappy is a bad investment because you can never get it back. Good luck on your journey.
_________________________
Once you go black you never go back

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#759754 - 05/14/12 07:36 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: Us and Them]
RowVsWade Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 11/08/06
Posts: 3359
Loc: Island Time
Tom---Good advice.

12 times in 25 years??? Dear God!

I thought 12 times a month may not be enough to keep a marriage alive...unless some of that is spent outside bent over a rotten log (her not me) but I digress.
_________________________
"...the pool hall I loved as a kid is now a 7-11..."

If you don't like our prices bring your wife down and we'll dicker.

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#759776 - 05/14/12 08:33 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: RowVsWade]
Sol Duc Offline
April Fool

Registered: 06/18/01
Posts: 15727
Originally Posted By: RowVsWade
Tom---Good advice.

12 times in 25 years??? Dear God!

I thought 12 times a month may not be enough to keep a marriage alive...unless some of that is spent outside bent over a rotten log (her not me) but I digress.

hehehehe
_________________________
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

- Albert Einstein.

Top
#759782 - 05/14/12 08:45 PM Re: I think I want a divorce! [Re: Us and Them]
DBAppraiser Offline
Repeat Spawner

Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 1138
Loc: MA13
Quote:
I look at it this way. I made a promise to my self, my wife my friends and family in public that I would keep my word. No one forced me I came up with the idea all on my own. I compounded that choice when I decided to have kids. Nothing in life worth a dollar ever comes easy, everything I value has come at a price. People give up on themselves too easily in my opinion and it makes it easier to give up on others. They live a compromised life because of it.


I think that is the smartest paragraph I have read here in quite some time. applause

I have been married 18 years today. Only 1 outdoor intercourse adventure that I can remember. smile My wife doesn't really like to camp but will because the kids want to, we have a 13 year old and a 9 year old. She doesn't like to fish but likes to go out in the boat while I fish. She likes shopping, I don't. We both support our kids in all their schooling and their sports endevors. We have had ups and downs through the years and have seen a counselor a time or 2, but in the end we have always talked through issues and worked them out together. Frankly, whether your marriage can be saved is up to BOTH of you. If you both want to save it, it can be done. However, as it takes two to make a marriage, it also usually takes two to destroy a marriage.

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