#975298 - 03/21/17 07:48 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Dogfish]
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Shooting Instructor for hire
Registered: 10/26/10
Posts: 7260
Loc: Snohomish, WA
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Within 5 minutes of going vertical in the morning it is time for business. The guys at elk camp can vouch for me on that. Seldom do I have a two poop day, even less is the magical 3 poop day. That solves most issues, just training your body to get it done first thing. Then shower and you are ready for your day. That helps avoid the 45 minute post poop re-wipe. You non-hairy, Brazilian waxing mofos have no idea.
I do always carry wipe in the truck, and baby wipes in the hunting pack or waders, and yes, I ALWAYS know where my wader straps are, ALWAYS. This. Automatic. I can't even smell coffee while it's still brewing without having to drop trou. If I have to go during the day, there is a reason and something bad is about to happen. We live a fortunate existence. Also, what about the inverse pooping scenario? While at home, I'm set-your-watch regular, but for some reason when I go on overnighters camping, fishing, hunting whatever...I can go DAYS without pooping. WHY???
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“If the military were fighting for our freedom, they would be storming Capitol Hill”. – FleaFlickr02
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#975300 - 03/21/17 10:09 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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Carcass
Registered: 01/09/14
Posts: 2312
Loc: Sky River(WA) Clearwater(Id)
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Normally I'm a morning log dropper, and a 1 or 2 a day guy. If I get up too early and miss the morning express to go fishing, it will hit me later during the day on the river. Usually a sexy tailout on a dropping emerald green river is enough for reverse boner and it's a 100 yard dash to the woods. My fishing buddy knows I'm in the zone when after a few casts in prime water i take off running like Usain Bolt. The dirty bastich witnessed this once, took my spot and landed a 12lb hatch summer.
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#975303 - 03/22/17 05:19 AM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: NickD90]
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ExtenZe Field Tester
Registered: 11/10/09
Posts: 8060
Loc: Vancouver, WA
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Also, what about the inverse pooping scenario? While at home, I'm set-your-watch regular, but for some reason when I go on overnighters camping, fishing, hunting whatever...I can go DAYS without pooping. WHY???
This is one of life's Great Mysteries. 
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NO STEP ON SNEK
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#975310 - 03/22/17 11:03 AM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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My Area code makes me cooler than you
Registered: 01/27/15
Posts: 4549
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From all of this one could reasonably conclude all of you are full of chit!!!
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#975350 - 03/22/17 05:46 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: NickD90]
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Ranger Danger
Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 3098
Loc: AK
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Also, what about the inverse pooping scenario? While at home, I'm set-your-watch regular, but for some reason when I go on overnighters camping, fishing, hunting whatever...I can go DAYS without pooping. WHY???
Don't worry, it's totally normal. Lots of women have this problem. When pooping in a public place, do you often freeze up when someone is in the stall next door? Nervous pooper disease is real and it is no laughing matter. Though modern medicine has surged ahead with research and development, real progress is still locked up pending some new movement. It's a shame this disease hasn't been given more attention in light of all of pressure surrounding it. It's time to wipe the slate clean, flush our egos away, and band together to pinch this problem off for good. #endnervouspooperdisease
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I am still not a cop. EZ Thread Yarn Balls "I don't care how you catch them, as long as you treat them well and with respect." Lani Waller in "A Steelheader's Way."
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#975352 - 03/22/17 05:57 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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ExtenZe Field Tester
Registered: 11/10/09
Posts: 8060
Loc: Vancouver, WA
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Apparently AFHI (Away From Home Impaction) is a problem on the set of The Bachelor. (kill me if you ever catch me watching that, BTW)
Laxatives are always available to those impacted.
Channeling Cliffie
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NO STEP ON SNEK
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#975354 - 03/22/17 06:09 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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Ranger Danger
Registered: 02/08/07
Posts: 3098
Loc: AK
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There is an easy solution if things get desperate. I affectionately refer to it as "the fickle finger of fecal fate."
_________________________
I am still not a cop. EZ Thread Yarn Balls "I don't care how you catch them, as long as you treat them well and with respect." Lani Waller in "A Steelheader's Way."
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#975357 - 03/22/17 08:07 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: ColeyG]
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Ornamental Rice Bowl
Registered: 11/24/03
Posts: 12767
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Don't worry, it's totally normal. Lots of women have this problem.
When pooping in a public place, do you often freeze up when someone is in the stall next door?
Nervous pooper disease is real and it is no laughing matter. Though modern medicine has surged ahead with research and development, real progress is still locked up pending some new movement. It's a shame this disease hasn't been given more attention in light of all of pressure surrounding it. It's time to wipe the slate clean, flush our egos away, and band together to pinch this problem off for good.
#endnervouspooperdisease
...
There is an easy solution if things get desperate. I affectionately refer to it as "the fickle finger of fecal fate."
Holy Krap, Coley! Who knew you could ever expound and educate with such excellent excremental expertise? Did you graduate with a Poo-hD?
_________________________
"Let every angler who loves to fish think what it would mean to him to find the fish were gone." (Zane Grey) "If you don't kill them, they will spawn." (Carcassman)  The Keen Eye MDLong Live the Kings!
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#975359 - 03/22/17 08:17 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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Shooting Instructor for hire
Registered: 10/26/10
Posts: 7260
Loc: Snohomish, WA
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Nice guys. Well done. I am a bachelor so...
It's not that I can't poop, it's just that I don't have to. My body just decides it doesn't need to. Hell if I know.
I will say that multi-day logs are spectacular and HUGE. You can actually discern specific meals. Kinda like aging a tree if you will. Triple flush monsters all coiled up and ready to strike. I spelled an upper case Q once. I take pride in my work.
_________________________
“If the military were fighting for our freedom, they would be storming Capitol Hill”. – FleaFlickr02
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#975365 - 03/22/17 09:30 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: NickD90]
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Returning Adult
Registered: 02/21/06
Posts: 306
Loc: Marysville, WA
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Nice guys. Well done. I am a bachelor so...
It's not that I can't poop, it's just that I don't have to. My body just decides it doesn't need to. Hell if I know.
I will say that multi-day logs are spectacular and HUGE. You can actually discern specific meals. Kinda like aging a tree if you will. Triple flush monsters all coiled up and ready to strike. I spelled an upper case Q once. I take pride in my work. Sounds top shelf worthy.
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One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
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#975374 - 03/23/17 05:09 AM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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Shooting Instructor for hire
Registered: 10/26/10
Posts: 7260
Loc: Snohomish, WA
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My ex GF's brother is the actual Toppy. Awesome dude and the laugh is real.
_________________________
“If the military were fighting for our freedom, they would be storming Capitol Hill”. – FleaFlickr02
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#975375 - 03/23/17 06:02 AM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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Poodle Smolt
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 10979
Loc: McCleary, WA
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Roy Otis would break it up with a stick.
_________________________
"Give me the anger, fish! Give me the anger!"
They call me POODLE SMOLT!
The Discover Pass is brought to you by your friends at the CCA.
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#975394 - 03/23/17 03:06 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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My Waders are Moist
Registered: 11/20/08
Posts: 3440
Loc: PNW
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I moved into a house in college with a bunch of strangers. They were all delighted to have me there because the guy I replaced was a nightmare roomate. At the top of a long list of weirdness this exroomate kept a "$hit dagger" on top of the single toilet in the house which he used to chop his turds into flushable size. This dagger was always there on the toilet even though everyone asked him to hide it or keep it in his space. Like most weirdos, he had no idea how weird he actually was and thought he was being funny.
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Maybe he's born with it.
Maybe it's amphetamines.
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#975395 - 03/23/17 03:07 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: ColeyG]
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My Waders are Moist
Registered: 11/20/08
Posts: 3440
Loc: PNW
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Also, what about the inverse pooping scenario? While at home, I'm set-your-watch regular, but for some reason when I go on overnighters camping, fishing, hunting whatever...I can go DAYS without pooping. WHY???
Don't worry, it's totally normal. Lots of women have this problem. When pooping in a public place, do you often freeze up when someone is in the stall next door? Nervous pooper disease is real and it is no laughing matter. Though modern medicine has surged ahead with research and development, real progress is still locked up pending some new movement. It's a shame this disease hasn't been given more attention in light of all of pressure surrounding it. It's time to wipe the slate clean, flush our egos away, and band together to pinch this problem off for good. #endnervouspooperdisease This post should be nominated for post of the year.
_________________________
Maybe he's born with it.
Maybe it's amphetamines.
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#975402 - 03/23/17 07:37 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: ]
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Returning Adult
Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 372
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socks are awesome, its the hike out that's a bitch for one foot.
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#975410 - 03/23/17 09:41 PM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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ExtenZe Field Tester
Registered: 11/10/09
Posts: 8060
Loc: Vancouver, WA
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Home Porcelain.....often imitated but never duplicated.
_________________________
NO STEP ON SNEK
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#975414 - 03/24/17 02:33 AM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: Nimpo60]
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Registered: 02/02/04
Posts: 2276
Loc: N of Seattle
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Grandpa used to say if ya have trouble going just do it like an old fashioned mathematician and work it out with a pencil
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When Ma Nature decides to make ya her bitch, aint nothin your gonna do about it
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#975427 - 03/24/17 11:07 AM
Re: Taking a dump while outdoors
[Re: AP a.k.a. Kaiser D]
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2010 SRC Champion!
Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 1002
Loc: Paradise City!
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The wader strap story had me in tears. "Where is that smell come by from?!" Still laugh about that.
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RIP Tyler Greer. May Your seas be calm, and filled with "tig'ol'bings"!
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