I'm going to make one just to be safe:

http://www.stopabductions.com/

I have got to get me one of those, and I am going to wear it in the sweat lodge while making buck snot. A fashion statement of sorts.

I hate being bothered in the lodge. They might be looking for a little more DNA.

"Since trying Michael Menkin's Helmet, I have not been bothered by alien mind control. Now my thoughts are my own. I have achieved meaningful work and am contributing to society.

My life is better than ever before. Thank you Michael for the work you are doing to save all humanity."

I can read the water better than ever with my helmet on.

As reported by the news

"Not only did they abduct the little girl, they abducted her mother to, multiple times"

Not reported by the news "she was abducted in between sets at the local [censored] bar"

Will those hats help prevent being anally probed by the aliens?

Wearing the the PPH (Personal protective helmet) will not protect you from varius alien STD's. Care must be taken while probing attemps are being made.