Taking a dump while outdoors

Costco Moist Flushable wipes have made dropping the kids off in the woods very pleasurable. They're a lot stronger than your standard baby wipe. Dry off with a blue shop towel. All hi fives and smiles after.

Does anyone else have any outdoor pooping tips?

You pretty much summed it up....Few things in life are better than derailing the brown bullet train in woods.

My b-hole likes the Simms Buttshed Wipes in Gun Metal Color. On days where I am fishing a crowded stretch of river I reach for the Camo color.

Tips?

Don't eat two giant burritos the night before fishing.

Make sure your wader straps aren't on the floor before you let her loose....

I recall a pretty entertaining thread on this topic 6 or 7 years ago.

From my boat it's called a gunnel grunt.

fp

Public Service Announcement: Do not, I repeat, do not use Lysol Disinfectant Wipes for any unintended use.

For those who have questions, there has been in print for decades a book titled "How to Sh!t in the Woods."

If you want the best example of how to take a dump while outdoors you need look no further then to the WDFW.

They have been taking a dump on our resource for decades now.

When picking a limb or log to support oneself during this process, make sure it is structurally up to the task!

When all else fails, remember shirt tails...

The wader strap story had me in tears. "Where is that smell come by from?!"

Wide stance is crucial for starters, don't wipe with Poison Oak leaves. My Uncle is a retired MD and has seen this a couple times. I could wipe 10 times and still have skid marks...

It's like trying to get a milkshake out of shag carpeting.

Five star thread fo sho.

9.7 lol

The Donald's tp is gold gilded.

Another public service announcement---- don't stop at the Jack in the B in Aberdeen on the way to Westport between the hours of 2300-0200. You will end up projectile pooping off the starboard side. Big mess.

Also embarrassing if you're trolling amongst the fleet.

It's better to donate a sock to the cause, than to have an itchy ass all day.

Confucius 511 BC

I once ran into a fellow that took a ghost shite while pooping on a glacier. It was a bit windy and snow was blowin around, which of course means uncomfortable crapping conditions. Rather than take his parka all of the way off he opted to keep it wrapped around his waist for warmth. He did his business and turned to bury his turd but couldn't find it.

I loaned him some wet wipes to clean out the hood of his parka after he finally figured out where the log had landed.

Jeez. What to talk about when there's no fishing to be had!

Hell, I'll ask the bums in Seattle how they handle it. I was on a walk last summer with my wife and there as an 18 inch piece of "driftwood" on the Burke Gilman Trail. GD savages.

too many cheese sandwiches........

Logged in just for this one!!!! Always poop in the middle of a terminal hatchery trail! Has provided me years of enjoyment!

2 Things

-Having to take One, at O Dark Thirty, in the cold windy rain is the worst. That cold rain hitting my back and butt that early in the morning is the worst.

-I've told my wife that I want to leave $$ to the bathroom at the Sol Duc Hatchery, County Park off Richwine and the National Park for the Out House at the end of Oil City. They've all made my life a lot more comfortable for a lot of years.

Ah, what the hell, I'll throw in my 2 cents.

Tip #1....Always carry a roll of butt rigging behind the seat of the truck. Case in point, I was towing the driftboat northward up the coast early in the AM for some hot coho fishing a few Falls ago. The coffee squirts came-a-call'n and it was 3-alarm $hit time....not later.....NOW! I couldn't pull over fast enough. That handy roll of TP saved me from a horrid mess and some carefully crafted explaining to the fish'n buds what the hell that smell was??

Tip #2 Never carry your fishing pliers in the back pocket of your jeans when nature calls. Came across a fishing partner taking care of business only to watch the pliers in his pocket center-punch his deposit as they fell out of the pocket. Don't think they got used for awhile thereafter.

I keep a small pack of "Wet-ones" in my front wader pocket exactly for this purpose.

If ur anchored in a tidal area make sure the tide is moving when u lay that floater next to the boat. Saves from moving off your spot.

Nope, no logs.
You wanna pick a good spot and then squat like a Viet Neese to get the full Wilderness Deuce Drop effect.

Pro Tip:
During the event, I like to decorate nearby branches with whatever wiping materials I have.
Then when the time comes, they are readily accessible.


Sitting on a log is so Victorian.

On another note, Mother Nature's taking a royal DUMP on Grays Harbor. Man it's been raining hard tonight!

The Hoquiam gage has had measurable precip EVERY day this month. It's been 3 straight weeks if you count the last 5 days of Feb.

You guys are absolutely disgusting! There should be a law about leaving feces in the woods. You have to pick up after your dog in a county park, so why in the hell is it okay to leave schit in the woods for somebody to step in or to contaminate the same environment that we come out to enjoy.

Pack it in.......pack it out

Lol, had me in tears!


c/22

Same thing happened to me at about 20 years old,within minutes it was non stop rectum rockets. I have not been back to TB since.

Doc, we have surpassed the annual rain fall in the last 5 months...sick of this.

Proper sphincter tone, a balanced diet and precision timing = no wiping required.

Make like a bear and just push, pinch and walk away.

Since there appears to be a great deal of interest in this subject, where's the strangest or most awkward place you've needed to let one drop.

over the years of fishing I have learned stay away from the coffee at the chevron in arcata ca. and The all u can eat chinese buffet if it is still there. If you squat between the trailer and the truck on the side of the freeway it is actually quite comfortable even in the middle of a snow storm. My buddy and I did this 3 times from Arcata to the trinity in one morning after the chinese buffet. 20 years ago I learned the wader straps have to be rolled up into the waders and pull waders toward front of body, while squatting, just to be safe. Really sucks to have straps that smell like underware. Dont over eat on thanksgiving and drive all night to fish when your brother wont pull over for you to relieve yourself. Had to cut away the underware on that one. Works quite nicely if you if you have a sharp pair of scissors nearby. I prefer paper towels. Makes for quick work. Bonus The paper towels are biodigradeable.

I am little sad that eyeFish hasn't provided insight on the best way to take a dump while fishing, hunting, or just outside. That guy seems to have an ideal technique for all the situations an outdoorsman will face.

Proper release technique outlined in great detail with a picture of a really nice one still half in the water.

A few years back I felt the need to cut one loose while fishing my local crik in January. Pulled the DB over and walked into the woods looking for that prime spot at which I thought I found. There was a nice log spanning a pit a couple feet deep that was just calling for my @ss to sit on. After the blowout I started to gather my thoughts when the log gave way.

I stood up to asses the situation and instantly realized I was in trouble as I could feel the steam coming off my backside. I looked on the ground and saw nothing due to the fact it was pancaked to my lower back.

Had to strip down and wash myself off in the river, in fricken January.

I've squatted ever since!!!

Did you get any fish after that?

Within 5 minutes of going vertical in the morning it is time for business. The guys at elk camp can vouch for me on that. Seldom do I have a two poop day, even less is the magical 3 poop day. That solves most issues, just training your body to get it done first thing. Then shower and you are ready for your day. That helps avoid the 45 minute post poop re-wipe. You non-hairy, Brazilian waxing mofos have no idea.

I do always carry wipe in the truck, and baby wipes in the hunting pack or waders, and yes, I ALWAYS know where my wader straps are, ALWAYS.

This. Automatic.

I can't even smell coffee while it's still brewing without having to drop trou. If I have to go during the day, there is a reason and something bad is about to happen. We live a fortunate existence.

Also, what about the inverse pooping scenario? While at home, I'm set-your-watch regular, but for some reason when I go on overnighters camping, fishing, hunting whatever...I can go DAYS without pooping. WHY???

Normally I'm a morning log dropper, and a 1 or 2 a day guy. If I get up too early and miss the morning express to go fishing, it will hit me later during the day on the river. Usually a sexy tailout on a dropping emerald green river is enough for reverse boner and it's a 100 yard dash to the woods. My fishing buddy knows I'm in the zone when after a few casts in prime water i take off running like Usain Bolt. The dirty bastich witnessed this once, took my spot and landed a 12lb hatch summer.

This is one of life's Great Mysteries.

From all of this one could reasonably conclude all of you are full of chit!!!

I damn near chit my pants on the 8th hole at West Seattle golf course...luckily I made it to the honey bucket just in time.

WTH is a reverse boner? Sounds painful.

Don't worry, it's totally normal. Lots of women have this problem.

When pooping in a public place, do you often freeze up when someone is in the stall next door?

Nervous pooper disease is real and it is no laughing matter. Though modern medicine has surged ahead with research and development, real progress is still locked up pending some new movement. It's a shame this disease hasn't been given more attention in light of all of pressure surrounding it. It's time to wipe the slate clean, flush our egos away, and band together to pinch this problem off for good.

#endnervouspooperdisease

Apparently AFHI (Away From Home Impaction) is a problem on the set of The Bachelor. (kill me if you ever catch me watching that, BTW)
Laxatives are always available to those impacted.


Channeling Cliffie

There is an easy solution if things get desperate. I affectionately refer to it as "the fickle finger of fecal fate."

Holy Krap, Coley!

Who knew you could ever expound and educate with such excellent excremental expertise?

Did you graduate with a Poo-hD?

Nice guys. Well done. I am a bachelor so...

It's not that I can't poop, it's just that I don't have to. My body just decides it doesn't need to. Hell if I know.

I will say that multi-day logs are spectacular and HUGE. You can actually discern specific meals. Kinda like aging a tree if you will. Triple flush monsters all coiled up and ready to strike. I spelled an upper case Q once. I take pride in my work.

Sounds top shelf worthy.

My ex GF's brother is the actual Toppy. Awesome dude and the laugh is real.

Roy Otis would break it up with a stick.

I moved into a house in college with a bunch of strangers. They were all delighted to have me there because the guy I replaced was a nightmare roomate. At the top of a long list of weirdness this exroomate kept a "$hit dagger" on top of the single toilet in the house which he used to chop his turds into flushable size. This dagger was always there on the toilet even though everyone asked him to hide it or keep it in his space. Like most weirdos, he had no idea how weird he actually was and thought he was being funny.

This post should be nominated for post of the year.

socks are awesome, its the hike out that's a bitch for one foot.

Home Porcelain.....often imitated but never duplicated.

Grandpa used to say if ya have trouble going just do it like an old fashioned mathematician and work it out with a pencil

Still laugh about that.

Doc's Tips for Taking a Crap in his boat.....

Tip #1 - don't let any of your "friends" take a photo of you crapping in a bucket while on Doc's boat.

Eh, that's it.

I should post the photo only because Doc loves me and he'd want me to....

So its legal to remain clothed from the waist up while downloading in the bucket on his boat?

I was under the impression that shirts were not allowed on F/V Eyefish.

In my boat, dropping a deuce in a bucket, is called "Taking a bucketie."

fop

My unloading schedule is so exact you could set your clocks to it. 6:30 am thanks to one cup of coffee, eat light breakfast, repeat first act, workout at 11 am, light lunch, 2 pm is the third and final unload of the day. When fishing, I try and get off the water by 2 pm. It's not fun cranking up a sled on a trailer while your buttocks are cramping because you're "prairie-dogging".

Clothing optional on bottom fishing trips, is the rumor.

When I'm feeling backed up, I just take out the picture of cocaine that I keep in my wallet.

No better feeling than having a big hot breakfast in forks and taking a dump at the restaurant before leaving. All set for a long day of fishing without any worries.

Never stooped so low as to strip off my socks, but have left the woods many a time in shirts that were oddly missing their sleeves, back half and/or front half.

You don't shat in my boat..just pinch it off and suffer. There's sure to be a beachable section of bank nearby, and you can go find yourself somewhere to squat-n-leave it..downwind!

That Clackamax of yours should have it's own head.

The Super Clack left me many years ago...

Don't have a boat now, but if I did you still wouldn't shat in it..

I forgot, that boat rowed nice for an 18 footer.