Things you never want to hear on the river...

1. Dude, will you hold my pole?

Add yours one at a time...

Rowing that last piece of water made me nervous!

FJ...out.

$^*# I dropped it..

I thought you brought the bait ????

Ooops!

Here comes stlhdh2o...

You got a real purty mouth...

"Drop that rod and keep your hands where I can see them!"

Damnit Kurt, that was the one I was going to post!

Okay, welllll....how about that familiar intestinal rumble after a night at El Taquita, home of the famous habanero shooters?

Help,Help,blurrp,blurrp,heeellp.Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE

A Quilebillies worst nightmare...Would you like to view the video sir?

FJ...out.

"OK, I'm taking it up to ramming speed"

Said this to Smurf bashing over a small rocky bar on the Sauk.

That wasn't lip balm...

wheres your father, you look a little young to be fishing alone *wink* *wink*

ut oh

Ah never knew neoprene could make a man look so yummy!

okay, now I'm scaring myself...

<---taking you back in the way-back machine to show you the last game that Joe Theisman played. Now try to imagine what that sounded like to ol' Joe.

ooh...good one DJ. Probably sounded about the same to LT..

"......who's the phuckin' a$$hole that put Smelly Jelly on my coffee cup!?!?"

Wont that hurt if a fish grabs that thing and runs? Pull up your pants!!!!!!!!

What anchor?

You've heard that Prep H makes a good attractant for Springers?

Wouldn't want to hear "Damn I forgot my Prep H. Got any on you?"

I think I'm pregnant.

Awesome, we're the first fishermen here. Beat everyone else down that nasty road! What's that hissing sound?

1.) "Don't worry, it's cake."

2.) "Hey there, ya got a spare oar?"

3.) "Hey there, ya got a spare sheer pin?"

Cigar

"what the hell was that guy yelling--what dam?"

Hey you got my truck keys?

"Those aren't pillows"

I left the keys in the glovebox...of the launch vehicle.

I should have...

I hate those surface releasers!

FJ...out.

gooose

last year i locked my dads keys in his truck, and well lets just say we were on a gravel bar and then tide was coming up!@!

i had to break into the truck and crawl into the cab from the slidder window!
man that sucked ass

The prop will bounce us right off those logs.

Oh S**T HANG ON!

Hey Triple T hop out and back the trailer down the launch for me.

Tyler

TTT, add Craven to the back the trailer down idea...not something you want to hear on the river. :p

Now that Craven feels comfortable rowing I don't mind hearing him say OK I'll row.

FJ...out.

WHOOPS! From a six year old.

I'm sorry! Let get the pliers and try backing it out.

Is it OK if I just leave that jig stuck in you collar? :p

I wonder who could have said that?
clue...I learned the *duck* and cover soon there after.

FJ...out.

Well we are on are way did you put the plug in, What plug.

Last Cast :'(
jesse ;-)

(Driving down the highway)

"Dude, the trailer's back there but where's the boat?"

From passing blue drift boat: "hey how far to the takeout?"

"Do you think these waders make my butt look big?"

hey, you put the plug in didn't ya

Yo Dude,Is there supposed to be so much water in the boat?
Dan, what makes you think that was smelly jelly?

I thought you put the plug in !!!!!!!!!!!

the last thing you want to hear even off the river, hey bill, i know were on i 90, but how come were still back trolling, dk

"It's just a passing shower..."

Funny, that bilge pump should have kicked off by now.....

No, pass the island on the OTHER right side!

Heard this (no lie) on the Nooch a few years back and almost laughed my ass off. Just walked back to my cat after pulling my rig off the make shift ramp at crossover on the Nooch. Some guy in a brand new DB was starting to back down. His buddy was guiding him down that narrow launch while I watched (I was setting up my gear to take off). His boat went in and and started to sink, FAST. Buddy guiding had no idea it was sinking (and from response to happen I could tell this guy was on his first trip). The guy backing his boat says "Put the tie downs in the cab". His buddy yells "What tie downs?". The guys yells "Sh$t!" and his buddy yells "Did you put the plug in your driftboat?" The driver yells "It has a plug?". I was laughing so damned hard I almost leaked in my waders. The straps still on put the weight of trailer on boat, and no plug help suck it down quick. I saved a couple boxes that went overboard. I wonder if this guy posts on here??? It was a nice new Alumaweld guide model. Anyone want to admit to it or know who this might be? Too funny

And 1 time, at band camp...

"I've got to be home by 1:00"

"Can I use your cell phone to call my wife/girlfriend"

"I ate beans last night, and forgot my TP; do you have any" "im out too"

sniff sniff.. phew

Oh shiiii!t, it really felt like a dry fart.

dad why is there underwear hanging in that tree?

"Oh SH** the drop sinker just wrapped around the net and it won't come off!!!!!!!"
I'll let you guess what the fish did!

Grab the net, what net? I thought you packed the net.

How bout this one
Hey Rob watch your sidearm cast.i say it twice more and make a couple steps from the guy. What do ya know next cast, you hear the rod fly over your head and you get a hook right in the back of the neck

match in the gas tank boom boom....

Ya should have been here yesterday!!!!!

Neopreme makes me feel like I am back in the womb.

This is one you here from your buddies as you bust out of the tree line onto the river bank about 20 yards behind them.
Dude ya missed it, they were nude sun bathing and just put there tops back on.

..got any toilet paper with you? (voice behind the bushes)

Downriggin'

The sounds of Bardos heleocobopter!

Oooohhh, that's really gonna stink when it gets outta my waders.......

GOD DAMN BLANKETY BLEEP BLANKETY BLANKETY BLEEP BLEEP WORTHLESS CHEAP-ASS Vision Hooks!!!

Hey!!!!! Why'd ya thro dat won bak? Wuduv been a dandy smoker! Nec tyme givun to me instead of wastin it!

What kind of fish is that? (from the guy fishing next to ya)

Their BITING orange beads today!

crap, where'd that leak come from?...
did you grab my wading shoes?...
FJ, FJ...grab me, GRAB ME...I'm going in!!...
Dogfish, where's your float?...
cover your eyes...
"you like the Dolphins?...they suck"...throw down words!
looks like that fallen tree goes all the way across the river....
It's a buck, the meats still good....

Did you bring any spare dry clothes with you?

There was an emergency closure:

YOU ARE FISHING IN CLOSED WATERS

*phusst-uust phusst-uust phusst-uust phusst-uust phusst-uust phusst-uust ooooooooohhhh phusst-uust phusst-uust phusst-uust phusst-uust phusst-uust OH NO, there's a boat coming, hurry up!

*uh, sounds of using a plunger on the porta-potty.

Is that a paint slick coming this way?.....hey RT....j/k

As you approach the rapids "I've never rowed this stretch before..."

......"F000000000RE!!!!"

Dus ya need help wipin up that mess. I never realized your eye was purple.

Was it stay to the left or to the right?

(Rumbling sound in the background)
Someone says, "Sounds like a lahar coming!"

"Did you get a look at him?"

Willapa River, Fall 1998, brought my roomate along for his first coastal salmon fishing trip out to the coast with my other two die hard fishing buddies. Fishing was slow on the bank and my roomate whined "man, I miss my wife!" which my buddy replied "you can f**k your wife anytime, but you can only f***ing fish here right now!". They almost got in a fist fight

BD

Umm where's my pole?!?!

Dueling Banjos....

.....while riding with Pat Graham