Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/13/1801:08 PM
JesusChristDan
DW - if you are steadfast on having your own kids, this is going to be best for you in the long run - even though it sucks ballz right now. Been there, done that. My only major advice to you is to NOT drink. You gotta stew in it sober for a while to come out of it a better man later IMO.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/13/1801:13 PM
if she had kids and didnt want any more, and you do, she wasnt right for you in the first place....
find someone who can be your best friend, shares the same interests, including the possibility of children, or whatever else you may want...
now if you are talking about advice on how to get back with her, id advise not doing so, because you still want children, and she doesnt, and if you try to force a chick to do something they dont want to, they will never let you forget it....
if you plan on doing an upgrade, dont do it from a bar... go fishing in a populated area, go to a game, a grocery store, hell maybe even church....
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/13/1801:25 PM
Solid advice from everyone really. I’ve heard it takes a few months so I’ll try to be strong. Thanks dan for that lol made me laugh. And evo I give you a lot of crap but thanks man I appreciate you.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/13/1801:30 PM
Been in those same shoes many times. Keep your head up and stay busy. It is never easy, shoot me a PM if you need to talk to someone anytime. Hang in there.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/13/1802:02 PM
Pull up a chair and listen to a story Dwat….I married a woman with two kids. I was a good stepfather and we decided to have a child together, so we did. Nine months after he was born, she did a 180 and became a dictator....no more fishing, no more golf, no more anything....if I argued, she would threaten to leave to another state with him. So, I did nothing for five years. Finally couldn't take it anymore, so I divorced her.
She got my house, my boat, my car, $20K up front, $800/mo maintenance and $1,000 a month child support....and it was a shared custody settlement.
Just be thankful you didn't have a child with her....you never know what could have happened....especially if she wasn't all in on the idea.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/13/1803:14 PM
Renting someone's kids ain't nothing like having your own. I'm sure you loved them and I get that but once you have your own kids it doesn't even compare.
Get confident and get busy............It's opening day.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/14/1809:03 AM
Lotsa' good advice. I disagree with Nick a bit about not drinking. I think self medicating with alcohol is OK, for maybe a month or two. It's just not sustainable as a lifestyle. Be depressed with the depression and then realize it isn't giving you what you want out of life. Figure out what will, and then go after that. Getting laid meanwhile doesn't hurt either.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/14/1809:07 AM
Originally Posted By: dwatkins
Okay I’ll be honest. Took a girl home from the bar rough hands and as tall as me. She knows everybody here so I might I have [Bleeeeep!] up
I'm picturing the scene in River Runs Through It where the bros. see "Old Rawhide" and they say simultaneously- "We've met" and then look at each other...
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/14/1809:11 AM
Originally Posted By: NickD90
JesusChristDan
Fire up Tinder and go get you some strange...
Thats some solid advice too. you should follow it Brudda!
I am living proof that leaving a crazy bitch that isnt right for ya can turn out great. I wont dive into all the details but [Bleeeeep!] I have stories....
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/14/1812:09 PM
Dude I feel for ya................Honestly. I've been the guy that dated the woman with someone's kids. You will look back at this and laugh someday. She did you a favor unless she's pregnant right now. Better things are in your future. You have total control of where you go from here. Believe in yourself, be confident almost to the point of arrogance, get a puppy, and take it for a walk in a park or on the beach. You will soon be training more than the puppy.
Oh yea and lets not forget that soon she will come sniffing back around cause it's a game for her crazy ass. Be ready to say no.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/14/1812:59 PM
On this episde of Ask The JackHammer:
Dear JackHammer,
It's been a week since I had a bad break up. She had kids and didn’t want anymore. Sucks. We got along so well, so rip me apart or give me advice please.
Hate to say it, but Todd has some great advice. If you have something you want, extract promises on the second date. No promises, no third date. Never say "yes" to a "never" woman.
As for kids, making a kid is too easy and way over rated, IMO. The hard part about any kid is parenting them to a level where they can succeed in life without having you screwed them up in the process of them getting there. You don't need to make your own kids to be the best parent in the world and unfortunately, too many kids these days will never get the parent(s) or parenting they really need or deserve.
If making a child is not an option, I would recommend adoption or fostering a baby in the future.
Age is also something to consider. Since you have not had kids of your own, I'll just say that it's a lot of damn hard work and I wouldn't want to take on that job and responsibility past a certain age. Conversely, no one wants their 50 year old Father out coaching Little League t-ball.
As hard as it is for The JackHammer to say this, I'd pass on the local woman/talent, man hands or not. Sounds like a recipe to either get heavily mocked in your community, or probably get some STD.
Take a break for a bit, but when you're ready, don't be afraid to go online. Yeah, there's a fair chunk of really broken and psycho crazies out there, but get a good pair of SIMMS and don't be afraid to wade through the mess and make a few casts. You'll find many biters, but a good one out there will eventually nibble on the line.
Lastly, as a general JackHammer Rule of Thumb for ALL of you reading out there:
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/14/1802:26 PM
Originally Posted By: Snake Pliskin
Pull up a chair and listen to a story Dwat….I married a woman with two kids. I was a good stepfather and we decided to have a child together, so we did. Nine months after he was born, she did a 180 and became a dictator....no more fishing, no more golf, no more anything....if I argued, she would threaten to leave to another state with him. So, I did nothing for five years. Finally couldn't take it anymore, so I divorced her.
She got my house, my boat, my car, $20K up front, $800/mo maintenance and $1,000 a month child support....and it was a shared custody settlement.
Just be thankful you didn't have a child with her....you never know what could have happened....especially if she wasn't all in on the idea.
Snake
Thanks for this. Puts my crap into perspective. And thanks to everyone’s advice you guys really are good people.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/14/1802:36 PM
Originally Posted By: dwatkins
Originally Posted By: Snake Pliskin
Pull up a chair and listen to a story Dwat….I married a woman with two kids. I was a good stepfather and we decided to have a child together, so we did. Nine months after he was born, she did a 180 and became a dictator....no more fishing, no more golf, no more anything....if I argued, she would threaten to leave to another state with him. So, I did nothing for five years. Finally couldn't take it anymore, so I divorced her.
She got my house, my boat, my car, $20K up front, $800/mo maintenance and $1,000 a month child support....and it was a shared custody settlement.
Just be thankful you didn't have a child with her....you never know what could have happened....especially if she wasn't all in on the idea.
Snake
Thanks for this. Puts my crap into perspective. And thanks to everyone’s advice you guys really are good people.
Every 18 year old Man in America should read Snakes post....the world would be a better place.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/14/1809:48 PM
Todd is right. That's standard 2nd date protocol.
I also plant a certain seed very early on and work in the "yeah, I can kinda be a diick or arsehole sometimes, is that going to be a problem?". They never say no because I'm one charming, good looking SOB. THEN! THEN! When the relationship has run its course (it always does) and they call me an arsehole for real (because I am), I chuckle and remind them of our original deal. This works every time if your goal is to see a woman literally unzip her soul from her earthly skin suit and fly about in a proper unadulterated fit of pure rage. 43 years in and still undefeated. It's quite brilliant actually.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/15/1807:50 AM
You guys can talk all you want about disclosing who you are and asking for promises on the second date.....remember this: Men marry women hoping they never change, women marry men hoping to change them.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 06/15/1808:39 AM
Marriage? HAHAHAHA...that's adorable.
The point is that it's best to cover off on the big ticket items as soon as possible to avoid situations such as the one Dwat finds himself in.
For example, when Hank takes on a new lover, I'd imagine it's critically important for the union to decide who's the top and who's the bottom to avoid future cat fights and hearbreak.
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 07/09/1809:08 AM
Go bang a bunch of em.... Before long you will have your own kid/kid's.... You may have to pay child support, but you won't have to move the broad in...
Re: Bad break up it’s been a week - 07/29/1808:54 AM
Originally Posted By: WDFW X 1 = 0
Dude I feel for ya................Honestly. I've been the guy that dated the woman with someone's kids. You will look back at this and laugh someday. She did you a favor unless she's pregnant right now. Better things are in your future. You have total control of where you go from here. Believe in yourself, be confident almost to the point of arrogance, get a puppy, and take it for a walk in a park or on the beach. You will soon be training more than the puppy.
Oh yea and lets not forget that soon she will come sniffing back around cause it's a game for her crazy ass. Be ready to say no.
Dang, somebody else lived through the same as me. The part of crazy coming back is so true.
I'd just stick with the pup and forget kids if I had a do over.