I got jury duty next week. I hope I get to hang somebody, anyone who is making me get up at 7am and sit around sober all day is going to incur my wrath. Although they didn't pick me last time to be on the jury, most likely due to the answers on my survey.

It's strange going to the courthouse not as a defendant in a criminal case, or a defendant in a lawsuit, a respondent for a restraining order or just coming down to the sheriff to "answer some questions." It's nice not having your lawyer making you wear a suit, so I'm going in a wife beater, track pants and flip flops.

Do you think it's cool to bring a sixer of Rainier tall boys to drink or do they not allow liquids like the airport?

A sixer might not be the best idea..a hip flask filled with some good Kentucky bourbon would be indiscreet and get you where you want to be head-wise at a faster rate. A load of bong hits before you go in the jury selection room can't hurt either.

Well that goes without saying. I'm wondering if they are going to confiscate my booze. I know jurors need to be of sound mind but I can drink like 40 beers before I reach that standard. Although some would claim I'm not of sound mind even dead sober.

Maybe I should print out every post I've made on this site and bring it, that should show them that my mind is sound.

Nobody ever accused you of being of sound mind so the number of beers it takes you to get to that threshold is of no consequence. If you can't take a sixer in, you definitely can't take in seven of them.

You're overlooking the indiscreet qualities of the hip flask and the effectiveness of bourbon over beer..sh!tfaced wise.

They pat you down and have a metal detector at the courthouse, so whatever you bring will be found. Trust me on this, I've been to this courthouse quite a few times. I'd call my lawyer and ask but he is expensive because he is a retired judge.

Plastic hip flask tucked in your cowboy boot..or get your lawyer to bring it in.

Otherwise, stick to multiple bong hits and perhaps some psychedelics prior to your appearance. A little blotter, some 'shrooms, whatever.

You can always show up drunk and cause a scene. That'll put you back in your familiar waters.

You don't even know me, brah. Contrary to what you have heard, I'm generally not drunk at 7am.

I did some research, apparently it's legal to be drunk in court but not legal to drink in public. Shotgunning cans in the bathroom seems to be a grey area.

You'd have to get up a hell of lot earlier than 7 A.M. to get 40 brewskies down your gullet.

Never claimed to know you nor have I heard anything about you.

Just making a suggestion, bruh

OK, if you give me a ride down there, I will show up drunk.

I don't, know you.

Stranger danger

Damn, a battle hardened trained killing machine afraid of little ol' me? Even Aunty M could kick my a$$, just ask her.

Yes, deathly

Im not battle hardened.few mortars got close. That's about it

Yeah a few mortars got close to me, but that's the 4th of July for you.

Weren't you launching bottle rockets at golfers out of your a-hole? That's pretty battle hardened schitt right there.

Nah... turns out that doesn't work too well..

god i love that video...

Even sober I'd still be scared.