So I found a pair of black thong underwear in my front yard. I initially assumed it was a Covid mask. People throw stuff in my yard on a regular basis, usually it's beer cans and McDonalds bags. The thong is pretty petite.

Last night I went to a concert and was hanging out with these drunk chicks so it might have been one of them. Since we have kids the same age and one of them also homeschools, we exchanged numbers so we can set the kids up for a play-date.

There were also some teenage gymnasts doing some Cirque du Soleil sh!t and they were soliciting tips so I gave them some money. I jokingly said "I hope my wife doesn't find out I'm giving money to teenage girls to dance for me." These teen gymnasts are coached by these two lesbians strippers I know. So maybe it was one of them playing a joke.

My wife went to a different concert with her divorced friend. There were a bunch of Banditios and white trashies at her concert, so was a rougher crowd. The thong was right by where her friend parked her car. They got back after midnight.

I think it's my wife's friend's. She thinks it's somebody I know.

It could have been completely random, the town hooker or some local bar slut. Who knows?