I think his phobia of bears is not actually the creature, but an offbeat, slang term to describe some of the women up there Big and Hairy.

You don't have to be the first to leave, but as long as you outrun Kid, you should be safe

The way you described it, it really is making the gen. lee sound like a cadillac.

I envision 2 metallic, hard pontoons with a pallet duct taped across them with the name etched with permanent black marker on the side "The Love Boat" :p :p :p :p