1) Nothing like a good ol stale cigar, Busch Ice and smoked oysters to keep those land lubbers guessing what's next!

My favorite...

2) Pre-staged can of Cream of Mushroom soup (has to be Campbell's- good and chunky). When no one is looking, stuff mouth and act appropriately.
(For a great visual, leave fake chum on mouth, chin, and front of shirt and pants. This guarantees the best spots at the rail- trust me on this one.)

Actually, keep him engaged in something.... keepin' a steady eye on the horizon helps tremendously too. Above all, if he is that bad, keep him well hydrated with plenty of water. 7-Up will help remove the nasties of bile from the throat.

Neptunus Rex
(Downriggin')