Do partake heavily of the devil water prior to igniting any devices that will cause your medical insurance deductible to be met. It saves me the trouble of medicating you.

And of course I would never secretly enjoy listening to some drunk who blew up a homemade bomb scream "My wedding ring, my gawdamn wedding ring was on that finger. Somebody has to find it." Last time that happened the dog found it first.

Happy B-Day to America.