Top 10: you might be a Right Wing Wack Job if:

10. You cook methamphetamine for a living but you have a moral objection to homosexuality.

9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5000 rocket launcher but you can’t afford shoes.

8. You have more wives than teeth.

7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and camo.

6. You can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared a crusade against.

5. You consider public education dangerous but routinely carry ammunition in your truck.

4. You’ve been asked “Does this prairie dress make my ass look fat?”

3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off abortion clinic bombs.

2. You’ve uttered the phrase “I love what you’ve done with your trailer.”

1. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand but consider blacks/Jews/Mexicans/etc. unclean.