Hankster,
You're actually making the most sense about the subject of commuting. Live near your work. The notion of living the idyllic country life and commuting without an extreme hassle into the city for its better paying jobs is the most unreasonable expectation and possibly the peak of idiocy. "Ya' can't have it both ways," shouldn't be hidden away in the fine print. The real difficulty I think is for the unskilled and semi-skilled workers who are needed desparately in the city, but cannot possibly afford to live there in anything that isn't sub-human accomodation.
The real need I think is for those commutes from the suburbs to become so heinous that commuters will seriously consider an adjustment to a more rational lifestyle. Hence I support smaller roads, not larger and better freeways, which just feed, rather than cure, the disease. I think Americans, with the love affair with the single occupant vehicle will only switch to alternative transportation when that alternative actually gets them where they're going significantly faster than driving. As long as white knuckle road rage driving will get them to the office 20 minutes or less later than mass transit, they will continue to prefer the dysfunctional SOV/freeway system.
Sg