Who is Jack Schitt?


Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, “You don’t know
Jack Schitt”. Soon you will be able to handle this situation.

The lineage revealed….

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-Deep Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced
six children: Holie, the twins Deep and Dip, Fulla, Giva and Bull Schitt.

Against his parents’ strong objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout.

After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe Schitt married Mr.
Scherlock and because her kids were living with them, she decided to keep her
previous name. She became known as Noe Schitt-Scherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son—Chick (Chick
N. Schitt).

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and
consequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse Schitt.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says that you don’t know Jack Schitt, you can correct them
and ask if they are related to any of the above.