"What were some of the things that you have done that have helped you to discover who you really are inside?"

As a teen graduating from high school I had no plans, no ambition, and almost as little direction in my life. I attended a community college for a year because I didn't know what else to do before joining the Navy to see the world. That spring I attended a campaign speech by Bobby Kennedy at UW and decided to attend the U, scrap joining the Navy, become part of the anti-war movement, and major in archetecture or engineering. When the purple haze of the 60s and early 70s lifted, I had a degree in Fisheries, a wife, and had discovered fly fishing.

Life soon revolved around raising two daughters, working, remodeling and renovating an old house, and being a weekend angler on the Skagit. I moved and changed jobs, put both kids through private universities, in part by driving a beater soccer mom van well beyond its useful life, etc. I turned 50 and reflected that for a guy who had no plans or ambitions, life was pretty good in that I had a rewarding career, raised outstanding kids, had a great wife, and a nice home. Of course my marriage was over, but I wouldn't know that for several more months.

I learned that making it from 40 to 50 without having a mid-life crisis doesn't mean you won't have a mid-life crisis. If your spouse has a mid-life crisis, you automatically have it too. I learned more about surprise, shock, disappointment, and betrayal than I ever wanted to know as I became separated and divorced. In the process I learned more about myself, and some others, than I ever thought I could know. Then I set about rebuilding the part of me that was broken.

I lived on my own for the first time in my life. I highly recommend it, and should have done it myself 30-some years sooner. I was almost paranoid about spending any money because I thought I was always broke. (My ex did our household bookkeeping.) I learned I wasn't broke and had money to spare now that my kids graduated from college. So I made my bucket list:

1. I went fishing in Kamchatka, one of the last best unspoiled places.
2. I went fishing in Alaska, for similar reasons & 1/3 the cost.
3. I went on a cycling tour in Italy because Italy is a cornerstone of western civilization and because the Italian Leonardo da Vinci invented the bicycle, and Italy is one of the best places in the world to ride.
4. I went bonefishing in Mexico. I liked it and intend to try it again there or in Belize or the Bahamas.
5. I want to travel to Greece because it's another part of the foundation of western civilization. Iraq and Iran would have been on this travel list for being the roots of human civilization, but world events caused me to change my mind. I might go fishing in Chile instead since fishing is at the root of my civilization.

I've wanted to build a house from scratch since I was 12. I've remodeled and renovated, but never built up from the bare ground. I'll soon turn 60 and am doing that now, but given my age, job, and the bank's financing schedule, I'm hiring contractors to do most of the work. But I'm going to do enough to satisfy my need to have an active hand in its completion. Along the way I met a wonderful woman who makes me feel more appreciated than I've ever felt in my life. So I intend to live out my days with her in the new house. This is a thumbnail sketch of who I am and how I got here, inside and out.

Sg