Beyond the POTUS, I actually have have old school experience with the chiaBull. Those seed grow like mad in soil yet they suck on the clay of the chia's. First, keep that chia FULL TO THE MAX. As soon as it evaporates a little, the top will dry out and kill the seeds. Also, maybe you should put some syran wrap over it for a couple of days?

End the end, you'll be luck to have anything more than male pattern baldness. (Still talking about the chia).