FWIW seems like the defense attorney was probably just doing his job. Same as me writing a report, or you sending someone an insurance quote. He has to act that way, accusatory to you, because he is paid to do so.

Seedy bars can be as much fun as classy bars, and I don't think you need to defend your choice in entertainment. There are just as many guys who will hit on your wife at both types.

I also think you acted correctly. Telling someone to f%ck off is one of life's simple pleasures, and everyone should experience this type of thing in-person, not just on the internet.

Now that you have kids, you probably will have to act like more of a pu$$y and that sucks, but now you have to put your family first, and that means keeping yourself out of the hospital, jail, etc. So going forward you will know not to escalate the issues, even if you really want to throw down with the punk (cause it would be fun), its not prudent.