You are right, M2, Vets don't talk about thier combat experiences. I was in the Navy, spent time in the combat zone but was never really in harm's way like two of my closests friends. In all the 40+ years since, we've never talked about their combat experiences ever.
That's the easiest way to tell if somebody has been thru bad sh!t is if they want to talk about it to somebody that's not a real tight bro.