So I either get moist wearing neoprene and overheating as I launch my pontoon in a non boat launch (because why else pontoon, I have a drift boat) and row like hell, or I get moist sitting in my pontoon in goretex as chops crash over the bow.

It appears the only way to avoid moisture is to fish in the desert. Fishing in the desert leads to rashes and herpes just ask my friend that went to burning man.