Thanks Hey_Yall for letting me use your first post in this thread to edit in some info for new readers joining us from an Oregonian ad. While a majority of the topics here are fishing related, sometimes we like to have a little fun with some adult type of humor. If "potty humor" doesn't agree with you don't read any further. But many of these stories are really funny, and all benign stuff actually. If you want to read the best one first scroll down toward the bottom of page 1 and check out member Saltine's long hilariously funny story (a must read!). Thanks - RT

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........Actually use the bathrooms located at fishing places like Blue Creek and at the Barrier Dam, etc.? Personally, I just take my dumps out in the woods. RT asked for it, so here goes.

2 words: POISON IVY

Also, who's been guilty of writing in the stalls at these places? I know I am......
For a Good Time Call ***** -- (206)XXX-XXXX

As RT for the remaining digits or just visit the sh*tter on the left side by the blue creek boat launch. :p

[ 04-19-2001: Message edited by: RT ]

I prefere the woods my self,never know what you'll run across.Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE
No need to sit on the seat,Blue creek crabs jump six feet.

The two worse $hitters I have ever encountered:

1) Alaska, The crapper up on the Moose River campround right where the mouth of the river enters the Kenai. Word of warning, don't ever go into an outhouse if you start to smell it 40 feet before you open the door

2) Ft. Canby State Park, Wa, N. Jetty, at the very last parking lot before you drove into the ocean. How many years of excrement can build up on the outside of the base under the toilet seat, YUCK! Last year I was visiting the jetty and noticed that that about 200 yards of beach, parking lot, and that stinky $hitter had been eroded out to sea. I was talking to a complete stranger and we both agreed that it was good thing that the ocean gods took that crapper away!

Keep hooks sharp!

Bobber Down

Ok worst ****ter ever. Swan Island, Oregon, Northwest Marine Ironworks. #3 stall on the big dry dock. Toilet was loose (rocked when you sat on it), water on the floor all the time, holes in the wall, cold breeze in the winter.

On the inside of the door it said:::

"It does no good to stand on the seat
Shipyard crabs can jump six feet!"

OK, sensative types better check out before reading further - or read this after your dinner. ... The worst outhouse experiences:

It'll be tough to beat this one. I was with my new bride over on Montana's famous Flathead Lake, on the SW corner over beyond Poulson. We stopped at a wayside because I had 'packed the staging area' as much as it could withstand. I went into the outhouse, sat on the wiped off seat, and fired a ROCKET in there that splased the cess pool sludge all the way up onto my rump! AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I screamed at amy wife to bring me a couple beers QUICK. She must have started to wonder if she married the right guy, eh? I* shook those bottles up hard and opened them to 'firehose' myself off until I could get some stronger stuff down the road to finish the cleanup. I still have a bit of outhouse phobia to this day from that harrowing ordeal. ... Geez, don't tell anyone about that. K?

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Know Sh*tters or NO [Bleeeeep!]!

I'm a framer so unfortunatly I get the beauty of droppin' loads in honey buckets daily at the job site. To put it mildly it sucks. I must say its a toss up between a RT like splatter or the one you can experience after they have cleaned it a day or two ago. What happens is your "log" as will call it, free falls gaining velosity until it breaks the surface of floating crap and blue santi-stuff. BlueSantiPoo is now all over your @ss. At this point I normally light up a ciggy and take my time cleaning off my @ss. LOL. I have somewhat defeated the poo gods though..... I will use 1/4 of the roll of TP as a buffer or shock absorber if you will. You gently toss BIG wads on the desired landing zone. Works great......try it at a potty near you!
Your craper tip of the week

My baden will for ever be Mineral Lake camp grounds. If ya ever been there ya know, they are to the rim. BAD NEWS!!! J.C.B

Some guys in my frat at school actually came up with a latin-based term for the syndrome of your butt getting splashed when using one of these ... can't for the life of me remember it right now, but I'll put it up if it somehow comes to mind.

Hands down worst honey bucket ... Old Kasilof Landing in AK in mid June with the typical Kenai closures we see in that timeframe .... way too many people using it, then it seems to ferment and ooze over

this has got too be the absolute weirdest topic in the world but hell I'm game. I have two that suck equally. 1st is the plastic baggies full of cocca in the cement crapper at the boat launch on Hat Slough. 2nd is the nasty trash filled, crap sprayed walls of the crapper at the Lewis St launch in Monroe. WHATS UP WITH THAT?????? I will crap my waders before I will ever use a crapper at a WDFW access area. In defense of WDFW-for Snohomish, King, Skagit, and Whatcom counties there is only one maintenance guy to care for all those facilities

Not sure what icon goes with this topic

I will give a second vote for the Fort Canby Sh***er -

always the woods..one time my buddy made me drive up and down the logging roads until he spotted the perfect " takin care of business log" damn near ended up in his waders.

5 gallon buckets rule over Honey Buckets!!! Ever since I was eating lunch one day at a construction site.....guy goes in to the use the plastic throne, and an excavator accidently (while lifting one of those 8-ft diameter detention pipes) smacks the $^^^house! Didn't fall over, but rocked hard back and forth enough for the guy to come bustin out, pants down around his knees, and needless to say drippin wet and a little-bit irate.
I almost choked to death on my banana (I wasn't in your boat Bob!) and I've never gone into one of those things since!!

There's a reason they have a "poop deck" on sea-going vessels guys!! I for one am a poop deck veteran! The woods? NO WAY!! I wouldn't leave the water on a hot bite for nuthin' (Even #2).

I haven't had any accidents on the "poop deck" but I think RT has Maybe if we're lucky He'll tell us the open ocean, crapper story, COME ON RT-----TELL US THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaron

There's a reason they have a "poop deck" on sea-going vessels guys!! I for one am a poop deck veteran! The woods? NO WAY!! I wouldn't leave the water on a hot bite for nuthin' (Even #2).

I haven't had any accidents on the "poop deck" but I think RT has Maybe if we're lucky He'll tell us the open ocean, crapper story, COME ON RT-----TELL US THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaron

Toughen up guys. Haven't you seen Johnny Knoxville do the poo-cocktail?

Was at Washougal MX when it became time to take a gillnetter. Down the hill i went to find a row of 10 honey buckets. I waited for a shot at one in the middle of the pack, got in and went about leaving my offering. All things go when all of a sudden I hear some youngsters giggling behind the ****ters. I jump up and escape without doing the paperwork only to see the house nextdoor falling on its door. I hear a girl screem coming from the wreakage. A few onlookers got the house back up and out came someones hot date, dreanched in the blue poo. So a posse is formed to find the responsible party, there they are and he's the one! %That guy was never so glad to see the police as he was minutes from a public lynching. Went back to finish the paperwork, whoa, that was close!
If ya got this far my vote for the worst crapper is at the ceililo reservation. Couldn't even make it in the door! This was pre casinos so things might have changed.

[ 04-04-2001: Message edited by: phunybonz ]

Hey BK, your post kinda gives the BB term 'log out' a whole new meaning. ...

Ya JH, a good silver bite cost me some em'barass'ment on the poop deck of my old Whitewater Marine open V-sled. I followed the big charter boats out of Depoe Bay during the summer silver season several years ago. There had been good fishing out there and lots of other small boats followed the charters to find the schools of fish. Well it wasn't red hot but a very good overall bite on a fairly tight area on a school of these cohos. It was just me and one fishing partner - I'll call him Ted to protect the guilty. Now I hate to leave a good bite going on so I held back nature's call in staging area #2 longer than I should have. Well, I couldn't hang in there among all those boats any longer, so we picked up and I ran out to what I thought to be far enough away to do business and still be near the school for some peripheral fish. (If you've read the thread thus far I guess this won't bother you). My honey bucket consisted of a 2 gallon rubber pale placed under one of those camper crapers with the thin aluminum legs. Well, when I let it pack in real tight from holding it off for so long then it can become a little harder to get things moving, ya know. And Ted is not a patient guy when the bite is over yonder. He had our 2 lines out but we weren't getting any bites, and I'm struggling on the job on the 'poop deck'. He chides me to hurry the f... up and I'm tryin hard as I can against the log jam within. So Ted just takes a wide turn back towards the bite ... and the crowds of boats. As luck would have it 2 big charters made turns also and were coming right at us. Ted is laughing now and I'm pushing like I'm in late labor. Oh geez, here it comes; right at the golden moment as we troll thru the middle of the 2 charters. I just leaned forward and covered up as best possible. And I could have gotten by alright, albeit a bit em'barass'ed. But luck is often harder on me at times, and thus we had to hit a capped roller wave as we passed between the boats and in combo with my weight the potty chair legs just crumbled with me landing on the crunched honey bucket, and coming uncovered all in a few seconds in front of at least over 25 laughing fishermen on the charters . Ted was laughing so hard he couldn't steer the boat straight. I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.

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Lesson: Don't pack your bags just because the bite's on!

[ 04-05-2001: Message edited by: RT ]

This is some good **** I have the nicest outhouse you've ever laid eyes on or butt cheeks on up at the Sauk River Steelhead Ranch. It has a tile floor, redwood trim, a real toilet seat, a mirror, a steelhead cut into the shape of a half moon in the door, a wash basin, decorative art and an antique sign reading "rooms for rent...steam bath and heat, and a painted mural on the side of it with a king, a steelhead, and a dolly varden.

Parker will attest to the fact of it being the nicest outhouse ever!!! No ****

Im Crowning!!!!

I here ya stilly_bum. Those dudes are the king of disgust. I guess thats what makes me watch em. Then of course we should pay credit to Mr. Hanky the Xmas poo on South Park, eh

Two entries:

Worst ever. There's this ARCO station not far from Sprotco, in Fife. I don't remember why, but I stopped there once to answer the call. They had two honey buckets out back. One had an "out of service" sign on it, so I opened the door to the other. The brown matter was piled up even with the toilet seat. I about gagged. I can't immagine what was up with the last person to troll that hole. It made me wonder how bad the "out of service" one was. It was enough to blow a buzzard off a gut wagon.

Worst outhous experience. This actually happened only a couple of weeks ago. I was driving down to the Kalama in the early (dark) a.m. from Tacoma. Everything was fine until I got just about to Kelso and things down south stared to get a little loose. Things began to rumble. By the time I got to Longview, there were cramps coming in waves. I knew the first log scaling yard was a ways from the Longview exit, so I decided to try to make it to the outhouse at the beginner's hole on the K. River Road.

By the time I got to the River Road, I was standing up on the floorboard, twisting with the abdominal cramps. I made it to the beginner's hole and rolled up next to the station. It was pitch black dark. I shut off the car and hotfooted it toward the outhouse. I forgot about those big rocks they have planted around that thing and I slammed my left foot and my right knee into the same big rock. I was wearing sandals and I felt like I tore off my middle toe. I couldn't even straighten out my right leg. It's a miracle that I maintained my load under tension. I made it to the seat, but between my left foot screaming, my right knee feeling like it was being pulled apart, and the fire down below, that was the most nightmarish 20 minutes I ever spent in an outhouse.

I left and got to where I was fishing and put on my waders in the dark. At the end of the day, as I was taking off my waders, my left foot felt damp and I thought I might have developed a hole in my waders. When I got them off, I saw that my left sock was completely soaked in blood. Turns out, I tore this big patch of skin off the whole tip of my left middle toe. I still have a scab on my right knee.

As everybody says, you have to put your time in on the river to learn its secrets. I think I've figured out where the boulders are at the beginner's hole!