RT

Cut the bottom off of a 2 liter bottle of pop and attach the bong hose to the 'top' of the bottle. You can do a pitcher down one of these bad boys and they're quick and easy to make.

'Yall wants to have a contest "tossing off" midgets? Sick man, totally sick.

Saltine
Director of Tasting Room
Everett Brown Trout Effluent Hatchery

Beer Bong
I feel confident in the Pukeathon competetion with out the hardware

Director of Cataraft Rodeo (hey Yall watch this )
Sauk River Steelhead Ranch
Redneck Pro-Staff

There ain't no way I am entering into any fishing contest if RT is wearing a thong! Could you imagine the amount of Sunburned flesh that could create? Is there a burn unit at the Ranch? Can anybody say Shriners!?! :p

Just wondering, Should I shave my legs to enter the bikini contest?

Yee ouch. So much for breathing and I've got people talking about getting drunk and shaving body parts. Jerry - I think Osprey prefers waxing, but you'd have to ask Dan about that. You may want to watch anything clean shaven around Saltine, but if he gets drunk enough, he may do the shaving for you. Funny thing, he always has a pair of sheep shearers handy.

Hey Osprey, I'm game for the cataraft rodeo. 2 words: Cataraft Up. You just need to learn cowboy talk; "get along lil doggie" doesn't give you the green light to teach Spot new tricks.

SH69 - why in the world would there be a beer can on my head!? Why not just crush the can on our heads in a relay? A real man can do a full beer can.

I'll construct a couple of beer bongs for y'all and no RT, it won't be a weak Kappa Sig bong either. Whomever's liver is still functioning (even if partially) wins.

I'm game on for the gizzard eating contest.

How about sack races? In that case, I got yer sack right here, Dan.

SH 69, hey man. I'll try your new e-mail address. BTW 69 there's plenty of room if you have a camper, rv, tent, mobile home, etc.

Jerry Garcia, I appreciate your willingness to participate, however, even if you shave your legs you will be disqualified for any bikini contests because you are a man dammit!!!. Just kidding. The contest has and always will be for women only so you can be a spectator or even a judge. Traditionally, the Sauk River Steelhead Ranch has hosted several amateur bikini contests most of which occur under a full moon

Daytime before and after most Sauk parties has bikini babes soakin' up da sun and swimming in the backwaters. You need only plunk and watch. Kegs are always kept cold in big plastic garbage cans full of ice. I'm building a booze hut this year which will house the necessary blenders for "ladies' drinks". Bartenders please apply.

I have a killer idea for the new Sauk Ranch T shirts so please let me know if you know anybody who does T shirt designs or printing. The shirts are going to have a big-chested blonde holding a native steelhead ready to release with Mt. Whitehorse in the background. Nicknames and/or titles go on the front of the shirt.

I will be hosting two large parties this year, one in June and one in July. We'll see how the first ones go and then we'll talk about Riverfest 2001 to be held up there in August.

I also need to know who can find a dunk tank? How about $5 to dunk hey_yall? Or how about RT? Parker? We also need to get some volleyball teams organized for a tournament.

Sauk River Steelhead Ranch.....get some wild tail

Justin
President, Sauk River Steelhead Ranch

[ 05-21-2001: Message edited by: Kid Sauk ]

LOL GutZ. But fear not for me - ask anyone who has had the displeasure of rowing me in the front of their driftboat; I have an intracatable case of half-ass plumbers butt. Yes, you heard that right, it goes half way down my rear end, and that's a long ways . So my upper half is already tan enough to handle wearing a thong while I bong w/o getting too sunburned. It's the rest of ya that I feel for if I 'dawn the thong'. Not a bad idea though, as it will surely clear the place of you guys so I can enjoy the fishing and the cold keg with just me and the girls - they will enjoy the thong! Ya right, kind of like passing a gruesome accident; they won't want to look but won't be able to help it . In fact I may put on 2 thongs for them - one on each foot; only. ... Nah, just not fair to the rest of you guys; hangin' around.

Actually guys, Justin holds a class party up at the river ranch and will be fun for all (anybody getting OD'd on keg foam gets put in the drunk tank to cool off).

Edit: Most interesting thread quotes so far:

Dan S. "I got a position for Hey Y'all, but I'm not sure it can be discussed here...."

Hey_Yall "In that case Dan, I got your sack right here."

Well now hmmmm. Hey Redneck, in your e-mail planning with Dan did he even have the class to offer you a reach around?

(Forgive me Lord, for I cannot help myself)

------------
RT
Supermodel Bikini Photo Portfolio Judge
& Bikini Waxing Assistant
Sauk River Steelhead Ranch

[ 05-21-2001: Message edited by: RT 1 ]

RT1 that would be the plastic one and of course that was 22years ago sorry took so long to respond this is a work computer

First of all, this is a damn funny thread. Second, RT does have the mother-of-all-plumbers butt It's out of control...kinda like the movie 'The Blob', it's everywhere! My poor boat just isn't the same anymore.

Life at the Ranch is tough. Notice how I got demoted from President to CEO?

Kiiiiiiiidd, I have several unique methods for bikini judging, most involve a hands on approach.

HMMMMMM!!! are we talkin ladies half nekked?? I'll be there

Sauk river steelhead ranch ladies quarters guard



Let the games begin!!!

I'm your huckleberry

May my wife stay away from the computter!!!!!

What if your wife saw that!??!!?

Sparkey, I hope that's not a lame attempt at blackmail. Remember, I know where you work!

I think Timber,might need some help guarding the valuables....no Redneck not the livestock ...Os


Assistant Director of Primate Discipline
Sauk River SteelHead Ranch
Redneck Prostaff
Have Duct Tape will travel

I do herby formally apply for the job of SRSR spandex inspector. My pledge to you is to let no female, wearing spandex, to be admitted to the ranch without my seal of approval. (Who says I won't kiss butt)

Fishhead5
Applicant to the Sauk River Steelhead RanchI do herby formally apply for the job of SRSR spandex inspector. My pledge to you is to let no female, wearing spandex, to be admitted to the ranch without my seal of approval. (Who says I won't kiss butt)

Fishhead5
Applicant to the Sauk River Steelhead RanchI do herby formally apply for the job of SRSR spandex inspector. My pledge to you is to let no female, wearing spandex, to be admitted to the ranch without my seal of approval. (Who says I won't kiss butt)

Fishhead5
Applicant to the Sauk River Steelhead Ranch

Hey, Fishead5, howz life? As the President of the Sauk River Steelhead Ranch, I hereby grant you your request as Official Spandex inspector. Congratulations, Doug, I'm sure you'll do a great job.

For the rest of you that want to come to the festivities this summer, please send resumes and title requests to my e-mail address listed in my profile above. Don't forget the pictures of your wives, daughters, and boats. I accept trades for short-term and long-term land leases for up to 5 acres.

Thanks, guys and I'm composing a guest list for this summer's festivities.

Timber, e-mail me if you can fish this weekend.

Tight lines and women!!!

So Justin, when are you going to hold the first big shindig? We're all ready to party like a bunch of rockstars and fish like there's no tomorrow! Summer is just around the corner and when I'm done beating the tar out of the Wind then I'll be ready to head up to the Sauk Ranch. So?

3:19am?!

Must have been night fishing with the white tadpolly again

Unknown Stuntman
Mississippi River Catfish Ranch
Redneck Pro-Staff
Team Corona and Lime

Hey Kid Suak
I think Fishhead5 might need some help with the spandex inspections
So I must apply for assitant spandex inspector and I swear not to let any female past the gates with out my approval too.
I learned from the best right dad