QUESTIONS:

How many beers does it take to go fishing?
Do you need enough to fill your waders, or should you stop when your so wasted you fall in ankle deep water? Does being a fool make you catch more fish? How many little kids need someone screaming MOTHER F#*KER every other word?
PLEASE, let me know because I'm planning a fishing trip and I want to be sure to have a good time. I don't want people thinking I'm a noobie and don't really know how to fish.........
Thanx in advance, ''GUTZ"

Talk about a "back door" fishing story.....C'mon what's the deal? I'm only guessing that you had such an experience. If so, sad experience.....and probably not so unusual if you go to places popular with crouds, but uncommon with most. Don't let the bad apple(s) spoil the barrel.

Actually, I don't drink any alcohol when I'm fishing--- I save it for afterwards.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with a whole lot of the evils of man, I myself have drank and smoked enough stuff to kill at least half my brain, I'm just glad I don't ever use more than half. Hell, all through high school my ol'man used to say if I had more than !/2 a brain I would take it out, play with it and lose the damn thing!
The area I fish daily is the same area I've been fishing since 87, and I realize that times change. There are alot more people to contend with to say the least. I myself have had no run in's with anyone per say, even though I do have alot of BAD ENERGY I would'nt mind releasing . What I feel bad about is the trash from 3 or 4 cases of beer every outing. soon the whole place will be shut down just like so many others in our state. I't would be BS for me to pretend I am some goody goody redneck, I was just wondering how much is too much...........

So did the evening crowd get a little nasty with kids around after I left last night?

I know that place has had a few bad apples the last couple seasons, like the time the drunks were yelling for more beer and their buds would throw the beers from the beach up river nearly hitting other fisherman so they could drift the beer down to the other drunks who continually had to talk loud enough for a 100 people to hear how many fish they snagged that week while everyone watch them taking fish to their cars so they could fill the stringer again.

Besides all that did you get something other than pinks? how 'bout Jim?

I'd like to go tonight but got to go home and take care of the pets while the wife takes mikey up to harbor view to look at his foot he broke doing his sky high free style motocross a few weeks ago, 7 pins and a plate, ouch! darn kids.

Ah, Gutz visited the Puyallup again?

I'm with Jerry. I typically like to fish hard and drink later.

On a similar note:
Say you've had 3 or 4 beers while trolling for salmon. The call of nature beckons so you whip it out over the side of the boat. Just as the flood gates are opened ol' mr. salmon hits and starts ripping line from your reel threatening to spool your arse...

Knowing there is no way to stop once you've started, do you let go of the garden hose and grab your fishing rod, peeing all over the inside of the boat and all over yourself, or do finish what you've started and risk getting spooled???



I know what I would do... but then my boat is aluminum and it washes out pretty easy...

I'm sure I'll hear from 'the king' on this one for being a pu$$y but here goes.

If you're alone on your boat and peeing over the side, getting spooled by a runaway salmon should be the least of your worries. The #1 cause of recreational boating drownings is MOB while peeing.

For goodness sake, if you're alone in the boat pee in a bucket.

Anyhow, that way you can carry the bucket with you to deal with the fish

Only a Cracker would pee on him/herself! I would let the fish yard on the line all they wanted to. Odds are, you'll still get it.
I say enjoy that piss and reel in the fish later!

As for the beer thing, As BrotherChin. Parker' didn't catch crap on the Westport charter until BrotherChin handed him a beer. Once I cracked open that Cold One, it was like I had opened up a can of Magic. Ah, sweet, sweet, cold Magic!

"Beer will never leave me. Beer is my only true friend."

-Homer Simpson

"If you're too drunk to fish, you just might be a redneck"....

Lets just clarify this a little...

I didn't pee on myself but I did pee on the outside of the bucket...

My fishing buddy, he tries to grab my fishing rod out of the holder while I was, shall we say, busy... Instead I holler at him... thats mine. I finish the duty and hand him the bucket and grab my own fishing rod.

Get this... he actually took the bucket and dumped it for me while I was fighting the fish...

Now who's the cracker...

How good a buddy are you?

True story...

How did he pull the bucket out from underneath you while you where on it

Interesting you should ask.

I was fishing sockeye in Barkley Sound with NOFISH and Cowardly Lion last year when one hit while I was getting ahold of myself. I just held a rod in each hand till I was done pissing. Then I fought the fish with my paints down. And since fishing was fast and furrious, I left my paints down till I put the clip back on the down rigger and lowered it to the appropriote depth. Before I could get my paints up the rod went off AGAIN.

This happend four times in a row and I played and landed all four fish with my paints around my ankles amid 500 boats watching the spectical. No joke.

Definately a man with his priorities straight. Wouldn't mind fishing or tipping a beer with Sol some time.

Gutz - fishing or not, many people just don't know how to have a 'good time' that does not involve alcohol.

When I come accross guys like that (drunk, beligerant, dropping the f-bomb every other word, etc) I just move on and tell my kids as we go "rembember how we don't call people 'idiots', well, this is one of few times that we can..."

But in their defense, sometimes they are just too drunk to realize how stupid they are acting (sounds kinda obvious, but whatever). Once at a Mariners game some guys were drinking and cussing non-stop while sitting right behind me, my wife, and kids. If it was just me I would have hardly noticed or cared, but I was raised to have respect for those around me - especially women, kids, and the elderly. So I asked them (being polite) to tone it down for my wife and kids sake. They were very apologetic and we didn't have any further problems. I think the beer gives people tunnel vision in that all they see is themselves and their buddies. Rednecks need it so they can have 'beer goggles' so the nasty chick with missing teeth and fat roles hanging out her too tight half length tank top magically dissapear

Watch it pal...
She's not missing teeth... thats a spittin' gap

sory bout that... but

a. i wasnt THAT drunk...they were only mikes limes

b. i was yelling motherhumper cuz of the presence of kids.

least i wasnt flossing

MMMMM.....BEER

I have been known to have a beer or six. I am usally respectful nonetheless. We limit our consumption to reasonable levels while on the water.

I wasn't there!

The real "GutZ"