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#380147 - 10/10/07 07:30 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: TBird]
Sol Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 7477
Loc: Poulsbo
I always thought the best part of guiding was the long hours and shi%%y pay, banging the female help and wondering if there was more to life. I guess I was wrong.

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#380148 - 10/10/07 07:35 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Sol]
TBird Offline
Fish Fear Me

Registered: 10/12/05
Posts: 3275
Loc: Port Angeles
You and I were obviously working in different places ;\) I always knew there was a lot more to life than being in PA, banging the, well, whatever was available to bang at the time, and then I found my new summer home and was reassured that there WAS in fact more to life ;\)

I once was lost, but now am found \:\)

_________________________



So easy, a cavegirl could do me

Team FTW

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#380150 - 10/10/07 07:40 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: TBird]
Sol Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 7477
Loc: Poulsbo
Best head I ever had was standing on a rock in the middle of Lake Aleknagik. Her coc% savy enthusiasum set the bar a little too high I guess.

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#380152 - 10/10/07 07:41 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Sol]
OPfisher Offline
The Golden Boy

Registered: 12/12/04
Posts: 1483
Loc: wa/ak
 Originally Posted By: Sol
I always thought the best part of guiding was the long hours and shi%%y pay, banging the female help

You just hit the nail on the head and funny you should mention Lake Aleknagik, thats where the lodge I work for is....


Edited by OPfisher (10/10/07 07:42 PM)
_________________________
watch out for the "Untra Lof Jags"

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#380154 - 10/10/07 07:41 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Sol]
TBird Offline
Fish Fear Me

Registered: 10/12/05
Posts: 3275
Loc: Port Angeles
Her? ;\)
_________________________



So easy, a cavegirl could do me

Team FTW

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#380156 - 10/10/07 07:45 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: OPfisher]
Sol Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 7477
Loc: Poulsbo
Mission or BBL?

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#380177 - 10/10/07 08:39 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Sol]
OPfisher Offline
The Golden Boy

Registered: 12/12/04
Posts: 1483
Loc: wa/ak
Mission
_________________________
watch out for the "Untra Lof Jags"

http://www.olympicpeninsulaoutfitters.net/
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Olympic-Peninsula-Outfitters/

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#380217 - 10/10/07 11:21 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: OPfisher]
gilly Offline
Hazmat

Registered: 04/27/04
Posts: 908
Loc: on the river
OP, have you been their long?

Matt
_________________________
Yes sir you are a fine angler, the wind is a problem. - Scott O'Donnel

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#380221 - 10/10/07 11:46 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: gilly]
OPfisher Offline
The Golden Boy

Registered: 12/12/04
Posts: 1483
Loc: wa/ak
No, but did you work at AK West when Dale owned it?
_________________________
watch out for the "Untra Lof Jags"

http://www.olympicpeninsulaoutfitters.net/
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Olympic-Peninsula-Outfitters/

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#380970 - 10/14/07 08:45 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: OPfisher]
Titanium Cranium Offline
Returning Adult

Registered: 09/30/02
Posts: 412
Loc: Sequim
While guiding the Alagnak I took two doctors, father and son, and a real gun-ho bonafied dyed-in-the-wool bass fisherman from the great state of Florida. The father and son were trying to reconcile a lifetime of dissapointment in each other and the bass fisherdood was complaining a mile a minute about how the salmon (Chinook, Coho, and Chum) were not anything like what he'd expected and how great a 12lb Bass fought in comparison.

I was working with these guys for the next 5 days and after the first day I was trying everyway I could to get the "good" fisherman, and I use this term loosely, off my boat and fish with someone else so I could salvage what I could of the "dream trip" with the father and son.

This guy would barely listen to his mother, who could probably out fish him in he Everglades. Mid-day on the second day we were in the outide bend of the river on a drift back bouncing corkies and eggs for Chinook when the Bass Master climbed up on the bow of the boat and stood on the foot wide aluminum bow. That really wasn't safe on this boat and I told him to back up a foot and stand where he was supposed to. He wouldn't listen, at all. I'd had it with this guy... A short time later I looked downstream and noticed a log sticking out of the bank about 15' and 5' off the deck of the boat. I saw the log, and I saw him, and I saw the log, and I saw him, the two doctors saw me looking back and forth and saw the log and looked at me as I said nothing...

SPLASH! The trip did have a happy ending after all, at least for three of us!
_________________________
Mark Strand
aka - TC

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#381497 - 10/16/07 03:06 AM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Titanium Cranium]
Titanium Cranium Offline
Returning Adult

Registered: 09/30/02
Posts: 412
Loc: Sequim
I thought of another one, and FWIW, I could probably keep this thread going for some time to come!

Fishing out of Katmai Lodge I had the good fortune of taking on three English gentlemen, one was a Gilly by trade, another a heir to wealth, and the third a resort hotel tycoon. That has really little to do with the story but it frames the three of them up.

Somewhere in the middle of their trip I had a fly out to Brooks Lodge. For those that don't know Brooks is a federally protected area that contains a section of Brooks Lake, all of Brooks River and a section of Lake Naknek. It is world renowned for it's large population of Alaska Brown bear and the bear viewing area at Brooks Falls.


The trip to Brooks was uneventful, but I knew going in that the natives had been netting Naknek River for the last week, harvesting a large portion of the Sockeye population so fishing for sockeye was going to be difficult at best. We'd likely have to focus our attention on Brooks River to be successful on this trip and target the grayling and rainbows, keeping in mind that fishing Brooks River is like running the gauntlet with 29 resident Brown Bear known to inhabit the area territorially not to mention the transients.

Once at Brooks and a brief walk down to the lake it was apparent that there were very few sockeye, in fact the bears outnumbered the fish. Two of my party had decided in proper English tradition that the morning would be best spent working on a bottle of single malt while the Gilly (guide by our terms) decided he'd try his hand at the Sockeye. I took the lone fisherman to the headwaters of the river at Brooks and he started fishing.

All around us were Brown Bears, yawning (a sign of stress - go figure - no fish) and pacing back and forth. Much to my surprise my guy hooks a fish and the fly reel started singing as the fish ran. He actually caught a fish! In these conditions what are the odds?!? Anyway that reel sounded like a dinner bell at a thanksgiving fiest because a half dozen bear turned their attention to the sound. I surveyed the situation and after about 20 seconds told him to break the line off. He replied, "I paid five thousand dollars to take this trip and I'll be damned if I'm breaking this fish off", at which time I took the rod from him, pointed it at the fish, clamped down on the line and snapped the fish off. But it was a case of too little too late.

Across the river we had a bear trying to decide whether to swim over to us or stay put, and to our right we had a bear closing in at a trot about 100 yards out. To our left there was a curious bear just looking and about another 100 yards beyond was another bear closing on our position quickly. Still to our left the bear that was further out was coming over a birm and surprised the bear to our left that was as I said curious. A fight immediately ensued between the two. We were backing away from the river steadily with no where to go. The bear to our right was now in front of us, between us and the bridge across the river to the lodge. We had no escape. The bears to our left were still fighting. The bear in front of us approached to within 6 feet of me. I'd tell you that the bear easily weighed 1500 lbs but in reality it was probably closer to 1000 to 1200. Still he was absolutely immense! The bear roared a few times and all the while stayed on four legs, he reared back on his back legs and pounced the ground, snorted, spit, shook his head from side to side and roared again, and snorted and spit. He kept on pounding the ground with his front paws. He weighed so much and was hitting the ground with such furosity that the ground was noticably shaking. The hackles on his shoulders stook straight off his body making him look twice as big as he already looked, like that really mattered at this point. With one last terrifying act he lunged forward about a foot and lowered his head as he roared one final time before turning around and laying down on the bridge, as if to say you really pissed me off, now just try and get back across here.

An hour or so later he got up and moved and everything else went back to normal, as normal could get after that experience. Somewhere in the middle of all the comotion the other two bears quite fighting, and the bear accross the river had decided to go someplace else.

Once across the river my guy headed straight for the lodge and decided he was going to put a serious dent in the bar stock.

I determined at that point that while Brooks was a very beautiful area, I really didn't need to go back again, nor will I ever! Later that year a bear mauled and mamed a ranger (survived the attack), the first ever...
_________________________
Mark Strand
aka - TC

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#381501 - 10/16/07 03:18 AM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Titanium Cranium]
VHawk. Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 08/26/04
Posts: 2744


Mark, your a good writer. You should be submitting your stuff for publication. Actually one of the top stories I've read in awhile.
Hope to run into you on a non-brown bear occupied river sometime.

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#381509 - 10/16/07 08:09 AM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Titanium Cranium]
LoweDown Offline
Conquistador

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 1759
Loc: Forks, WA
 Originally Posted By: Titanium Cranium
Once across the river my guy headed straight for the lodge and decided he was going to put a serious dent in the bar stock.


He probably had to change his knickers.

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#381544 - 10/16/07 11:32 AM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: LoweDown]
Sol Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 7477
Loc: Poulsbo
I call my clients *friends* since they don't pay me. I took this one *friend* down the river a few years ago and he was all hot to catch a steelhead on his flyrod, even though the technique he used was a prostituted form of bobber fishing. He rigged a floating line with a long leader and a nymph, a split shot and a large strike indicator and would flip it from pocket to seam, etc.

We were moving through a riffle at a pretty good clip when he snags up on the bottom and flyline starts flying off his real. So he clamps down ot the spool and points the rod upstream at the snag. Flyline is like big rubberband, so Ikept looking downstream and hunched over in the boat knowing what could happen. The next thing I hear is my *friend* hit the floor of my Willie like a limp noodle, and doesn't get up right away. When he finally did he had a hand over his eye and blood covered most of his face. I felt sick. I was sure he lost an eye, but a few minutes later we dicovered the splitshot had mearly hit the bone right above his eye and tore a half inch hole in his face, and faces bleed like crazy due to the high density of small capalary blood vessles. Strike one.

Later I asked him to back my truck down to the launch while I cleaned my boat up. When he shows up I see a dent in my right rear quarter panel. I asked him what the fuc% happened, and he plays stupid. "I didn't do that, did I ?," he says. Later I slowly jackknifed my trailer to see how it could have concevibly happened and the winch handle lined up perfectly with the crease in my quater panel, at which point the left wheel to my Baker trailer was so far forward the geometry would require mental retardation not to notice. "I didn't do that, did I ?."

Strike two. He ain't been back in my boat for strike three.

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#381590 - 10/16/07 03:19 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Sol]
NOFISH Offline
River Nutrients

Registered: 03/15/00
Posts: 2952
Loc: Olalla, WA
Mental note: Fake a seizure if Sol asks you to back his truck down the ramp
_________________________
Does anyone know where the love of God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours......Gordon Lightfoot

Damn Stam!
Remember, Ask yourself "What would Stam do?" smile

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#381600 - 10/16/07 03:47 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: NOFISH]
Dan S. Offline
It all boils down to this - I'm right, everyone else is wrong, and anyone who disputes this is clearly a dumbfuck.

Registered: 03/07/99
Posts: 16958
Loc: SE Olympia, WA
You can get out of just about anything Sol asks you to do with a simple three-word answer.

"Sorry. Too baked."

He won't even black list you for using it.
_________________________
She was standin' alone over by the juke box, like she'd something to sell.
I said "baby, what's the goin' price?" She told me to go to hell.

Bon Scott - Shot Down in Flames

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#382425 - 10/18/07 11:16 PM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: Titanium Cranium]
starfisher Offline
Smolt

Registered: 11/06/02
Posts: 78
Loc: Bainbridge Island
Peerrrrfect!
_________________________
Just another bottom fish

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#383110 - 10/22/07 01:58 AM Re: Worst Client Story [Re: VHawk.]
Titanium Cranium Offline
Returning Adult

Registered: 09/30/02
Posts: 412
Loc: Sequim
 Originally Posted By: VHawk

Mark, your a good writer. You should be submitting your stuff for publication. Actually one of the top stories I've read in awhile.
Hope to run into you on a non-brown bear occupied river sometime.


Wow! Thanks for the kind words VHawk. If my college English teacher could have elicited these words of encouragement I might have chosen a different career path!

If you're ever up on the Skagit and see a guy fishing out of blue aluminum sled named "Fish On" swing by and introduce yourself or flag me down.
_________________________
Mark Strand
aka - TC

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