A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

***

Feel free to add your "pearls" of wisdom.

When a man says nothings wrong ,nothings wrong.
When a woman says nothings wrong, look out!

Amen, brother.

A women is always right
A man is always wrong
According to my wife

9 Words Women Use

1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.


2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.


4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!


5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)


6) That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'...that will bring on a 'whatever').


8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying @%#$ YOU!


9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Oregonian.........drilled it!!

OMG!

I had a patient bring me that entire post into the office last week! Too funny.

If I say something, and it can be taken in two different ways, and one of the ways annoys you, I meant it the other way.

Turns out I don't know a bunch about women these days. I do know this however.

The difference between a B!tch and a slut

A slut will do anybody.

A B!TCH WILL DO ANYBODY BUT ME !!!

Hope that does not offend anyone.

Men can rationalize buying a $30,000 boat after saving $100,000 by building a house and putting a lot of sweat into it. Blood, sweat, tendonitis, scars, etc.

Women can rationalize buying an $8,000 ring and a $35,000 mid sized SUV because she's been keeping things together at home while the man has been working 100+ hours a week, and thinks she's earned it. She's also been working on chastity and the size of her butt.

Having a rough day there Dogfish. My GF wants to know what the ring looks like. I Want to know when the work stoppage/strike starts ! !

They might even be so bold as to leave a Ben Bridge business card with "Size 6, item # 10428944, 1.5 carat solitare, 14 K white gold" on the hallway mirror. I'm sure your girlfriend can imagine it from the description given, but just in case, here's a pic.


Anybody got a porn mag of only BJ's? Maybe if I put that on the hallway mirror, that'll happen soon too.

lmao...good luck, let me know if that works....

find a 57 k boat before she waste the rest of the savings.
Why is it that a girls best friend is the most over priced waste of f$#%ing money on the planet.

Andy,

You bought the ring though didn't you? In the end it's cheaper than giving her the house and renting yourself an apartment.

No F'n way. At least until I get the house finished and I get that boat. I can understand the vehicle, but a ring? What the hell does that do? SIts on a finger. Doesn't tow anything, doesn't provide any utility of any sort.

So any help on that porno mag would be appreciated.

With the economy tanking the way it is, it wont be long before gorgeous women are accepting glaze donuts as wedding rings, and then eating them as wedding cake at the reception.

Hold out men, and make sure the "O" bling for her finger fits your wallets as good as her "O"s fit.................

Crispy Cream that bling?

The right ring had to be one I could write a check out on the spot without dipping into my savings account. I'm sentimental, but I'm no fiscal idiot. And if I'm not going fishing, I don't get out of bed on weekends without some fooling around first. Relationships should be rewarding, not taxing. Hmmm, I could be a philosopher.

Sg

Andy seems a little tense.

Working 100 hours a week will do that to a guy.

Andy, I think you should take a day off soon and go fishing..........or maybe go kill something and then eat it.

You have a lot on your plate right now. Things will simmer down pretty soon, you'll be in the new joint, you'll have your man cave, and things will be good.

Is a ring necessary? I guess it depends. While I agree that a ring is anything but utilitarian, they seem to hold some kind of intrinsic value to lots of wimmenfolk.

Anyway.........good luck in getting your new place built and let me know if you want to go wet a line and get nothing done for a day. Weeknds only 'til February for me.......I've already wiped all my vaca from the books.

I had to delet that post. It was out of line even for me

I got this from my wife and she told me to forward it to the guys I work with. I re-wrote it and sent it back to her, here is my version.

(1) Fine - The man is right but his wife can't admit to being wrong.

(2) Five Minutes - This is what you say when she asks when you are going to stop fishing or watching the game. What you don't specify is when the five minutes starts.

(3) Nothing - This means you are probably within reason for whatever it is you want to do and she is trying to figure out a way to make it unreasonable. Nothing means she is thinking.

(4) Go Ahead - That is all you need to hear, take off now. If you put any thought into the real meaning of that you will end up staying home.

(5) Loud Sigh - This technique is supposed to tell you that you are supposed to engage in a conversation. Don't do it, the word "feelings" is bound to come out. Once you start talking feelings you better be prepared to stay a while.

(6) That's Okay - You did it, you're off the hook! Immediately follow "Thats Okay" by saying: "I want to talk about a family budget" because she is going to try to get you to buy something for her.

(7) Thanks - This has more meaning than what it says above; you have done something horribly wrong. You've set a precedent. Now you have to reverse it, keep outside a 10 foot radius from the sink or the litter box, whatever it was you did that got the response, because now you are expected do that every time.

(8) Whatever - This means she's really pissed at you, so you should take this as your opportunity to do 'whatever' you want, I mean how much more trouble can you get in?

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: - Congratulations! You reversed the precedent you set in #7.

This is what an old guy told my buddy years ago....

He said, "I really feel sorry for women". My buddy ask him why is that? And the old guy continued "Because if it wasn't for that little thing between their legs.....nobody would talk to them".

Mf

Hell if it wernt for that thing between their legs they'd have a bounty on em

Got this from my sister today:

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If

you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give

her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her

groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a

smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and

enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap,

be ready to receive a ton of $hit.'

I gave my wife my lucky spoon and she takes my 23lb. steely outa my hole! Whata crock of crap! Hey OP, got that picture?

This thread is exactly why at the age of 33 I've never been married....

Paperwork that entitles someone to half of my sweat and blood........

Keith

Find the right woman and you can get half of hers.

You've been talking to CanyonMan, haven't you Aunty?

Among many.

It's not all that hard to figure out.My wife got a $5,500.00 new ring while on vacation a few years back so I gotta new $6,000.00 willie drifter to even it up.I gotta $5,000.00 trip to super bowl 40.She gotta $5,000.00 breast job to even it up.It all evens out in the end.However,Dogfish hang in there as the "NO BLOW" part of it most likely stopped after eating wedding cake any way's.Chill out and take a day off and take her out for a movie & dinner.Then on the way out stop and buy her a 25 cent ring out of the gum ball machine and give it to her and say you'll get the real thing when I start to get the real thing on a regular bases.Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE

Andy....come on up and fish with me on Friday!
You don't even need to tow a boat.

isnt that more for you?

The milkman, really.

Hopefully, But she wanted it,not me.I wanted to to go back to alaska for some summer salmon fishin.Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE

Sorry Parker there are no milk men where we live,just "Sasuatch".

Watch out for those ManBearPigs!!!! I hear they love both silicone and saline implants!!!!

Rings are over rated and only go to show everyone that they are taken as long as they wear it. Sentimental I think not. Unless it comes from someone else in the family like a great grandmother or something. As for marriage, tell her it isn't necissary either. The piece of paper doesn't do anything for you. And if I remember correctly, marriage is supposed to benefit both people. Dedication doesn't come in the form of a ring and paper but from the morals and heart of someone. Get her a "wedding ring" lure and tell her to come fishing and make some memories with it. Actually, I wouldn't do that. Unless you can get a BJ on the boat while using it. Then you are the f'in man. But it would be funny though. If you ain't gettin it now, it ain't gonna get better afterwards. Usually. And if it did then that isn't the kinda woman you want anyways. Let us know how the picture of BJ's on the mirror goes. That was a good one.

Rack of fake boobs....

Rack of fresh Alaska salmon....

Rack of fake boobs....

Rack of fresh Alaska salmon....

Life's full of "tough" choices, idn't it?

JFC! There's a no-brainer!

read an interesting statistic in my society and natural resources class. the majority of women hunt for the meat and the majority of men hunt for sport.

Parker,
Manbearpig couldn't find his way out of Gray's Harbor with map quest.Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE

im mad at my hubby right now cause HIS dog got in THE TRASH AGAIN...the dog only does it cause he is pissed...this time i painted the night before and threw the roller and paint stuff in the trash...came home to paint all over the hardwood floor, the carpet, the bedspread, and of course the DOG....stupid dog...

im not mad at my hubby cause this happend, im mad about how he does not disipilne the dog cause he forgets what the $(%* he did...and i should be able to be mad at the dog for several days if i want to...

and before someone tells me that the dog only knows what he did for so long belive me i know...but im a woman and i can be pissed for days if i want....

actually my husband gets pissed at me cause im mad for about five mins and then im fine right after that...he cant just forget why he is mad so quick like i can...one of my faults is every once in a while i dont get over it in five mins and that can last days....usually sex cures it....sex cures a lot of things...c

but im a woman and i can be pissed for YEARS if i want....

maybe if men would put out a little more once they are married they wouldnt have a problem...hahhaha....c

Hopefully, But she wanted it,not me.I wanted to to go back to alaska for some summer salmon fishin.Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE

Careful - 6 mos after I bought my ex-wife some new equipment she became my ex-wife. That one was all for her - I was fine with what god gave her.

Pics or it didn't happen...

I have some buddies who bought their old ladies fake boobs. One of them had to hold off on a sled purchase for 2 years because of it. I always ask them if the boobs made their wives want to screw them more often, because the way I see it is that normally ol' boys are usually doing the asking while the wife does the answering. I tell them if you already can't get enough from your old lady, why would you want to have other dudes looking at her, it just invites speculation.

We would if we weren't so tuckered out from our girlfriends.

too funny...the too busy with the girlfriend way too true...hahahah

did you want pics aof the dog??? you guys are sick....c

Oceansun that would be a bummer.If she stray's then she stray's it just means that I get to also and I know she don't want that.It's been 15 months since she got them and @ times I think she forgets they are there as she hardly flaunts them.I'd probley hang'em out there for everyone to see and she chooses not too.It's all good.Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE

Is Roofio Panman a man or a woman's name?