i still want him back...i got through today a little better...thanks for everyones kind words...it has been helping me greatly...im sure its going to take time...i looked at old photos and noticed he used to be able to run and jump, something he has not been able to do for a while..maybe its so tough cause i have never had kids and towards the end we were more than anything taking care of him to avoid what we needed to do...i am sure i will always feel like we could have kept him around longer but when is enough? im surpised im the big baby, he was really tonys dog...he is hurt but he has been the one telling me to think of something else...i dont know how people can deal with this...it really helped my mom and bruce came over last night, bruce being a lover of all animals really helped talking with him, he has put 4 of his cats down in the last several years all cats that lasted over 15 years..all creamated and he has ashes for each one, surprisingly prob spent 5k on each one trying to just prolong their lives..i guess thats where i would have to draw the line..cash and me dont part well..ryelee only cost by the month with a drawn out payment hahah...see i am starting to do better, that was a little hahah...thanks guys...it feels good just to try to get this out..i told tony i may need to see a counslor...we will see in a few weeks...it is getting a little better, it has been amazing how much cleaning we have done...i have always felt the house was never clean cause of the dog...stupid dog...i never thought i loved him so much

Get a puppy to lick away the tears.

thanks guys...today was a bit better...been trying to stay busy...thanks for letting me get all this out...i never thought a dog that drove me insane every day of my life would effect me this way...i only thought he was like 10% mine...come to find out he was more like 40% mine...i just never saw it...i knew how much he wanted tony to be home also, but i never saw that it was also...tony said he was waiting for me to come home every night but i didnt realize he was waiting for me to come home for all of us to be complete...

i guess i never realized how much he was part of our lives..i just thought he was mostly tonys life...and tonys dog...i always forgot when tony and i spilt up for 9 months the dog didnt eat for a week..poor dog..i never really belived that story till i had to put him down

thanks for letting me get this out..i now really understand everyones loss with thier best freinds im sorry for everyones loss and i hope i havent tore up some old memorys...but it may be good for a few

I would be a mess if something happened to my bud.

Sorry for your loss,I still miss my big pain in the A$$ black lab "Coho" but I took some good solid advice from this board awhile back and went out and got a new pup this time he's a yellow lab and it does make things easier to move on but it took a year before I could move on.It's funny how things change after losing a family dog,when "Coho" was still here the wife and daughter didn't really like'em all that much as he was a jumper and a hard headed mutt...............he was my dog and was great and listened to me but that was about it.Now with "Brady" our pup the wife has taken him in and wanted him more then I.Needless to say the pup is spoiled rotten by both the wife and daughter as they have pretty much taken care of him from the start with shot's bath's walks and all that comes along with a pup.Now that he is 8 months old it's time for me to step in and start making him a man and not a big pussy....time to take'em fishin and for rides in the truck.......I tried this last month and the wife said no he's to little he's just a little man I laughed my a$$ off and said it's time he grow's up.Great how things have changed around our house,but sad [Bleeeeep!] hell it took "Coho" passing to make it happen.Thanks,

SZ

I'm really sorry for your loss. Tule, my 11 year old yellow lab is laying on the couch in my office at work staring at me right now, just as he's done since he was 7 weeks old. Brook, his mom, I had to put down just over 2 years ago at the age of 13. Those 2 were best buds and went to work with me almost every day. I look at that couch and still see her lying there. Every now and then a customer will come in with their young child and the kid will ask "where's the brown one, I want to play retch." Even though she's been gone quite awhile, everyone still remembers her. Kids who only knew her when they themselves were just old enough to put there hands out, say "give" as she'd drop the ball in there hands then say "stay" as she sat down. They throw the ball and she'd just sit there until they said "retch." She'd go get it, bring it back and they'd do it all over. At 3 or 4 years old these kids could have complete control of her and they loved it. Tule is a great dog also but she had something special. She's staying as my avatar.

A couple hours ago I started a thread that was totally inappropriate. Poor judgement on my part and the mods removed it. I want to apologize for putting it on the board.

Dogs is good people
Have a couple now and the remind me of one thats gone almost every day. Anything you miss that much is a treasure.

thanks guys...my first day back at work was tough..that delevery route i have is 95 percent residential....it seamed like everyone had a dog...i even saw a dog just like ryelee except he was black and white..mine was brown and white...i started balling...but i have gotten better...now i just think i hear him at the door...or it feels like he is sitting on the couch with me and i look over and he is not there...

we talked about getting a pup...we just cant right now..we have to build the house and are going to have to move into a travel trailer..i think we need a break...it was a lot of taking care of him towards the end and we do need a break..but we have looked..im not sure how long that will last haha...c

I waited too long after my Pal left. I may never have another dog.
When you think you're ready for a pup (or a rescue) get one.
Hang in there.

The traveling around you do for your job a dog should have no trouble finding you.