Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!!!
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, My big
brother Mike took me out on the stoop, Then he sat me
>> >> down, and he spoke real slow, And he told me there was
>> >> something that I had to know; His look and his tone I
>> >> will always remember, When he told me of the horrors
>> >> of..... Black November; "Come about August, now listen
>> >> to me, Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three..
>> >> "And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
>> >> and you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
>> >> "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
>> >> In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;
>> >> "Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're
>> >> bald 'n pink, And scoop out all your insides and leave
>> >> ya lyin' in the sink; "And then comes the worst part"
>> >> he said not bluffing, "She'll spread your cheeks and
>> >> pack your rear with stuffing.
>> >> Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat, I
>> >> sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat, And
>> >> decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked, I'd
>> >> have to lay low and remain overlooked; I began a new
>> >> diet of nuts and granola, High-roughage salads, juice
>> >> and diet cola; And as they ate pastries, chocolates
>> >> and crepes, I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda
>> >> tapes; I maintained my weight of two pounds and a
>> >> half, And tried not to notice when the bigger birds
>> >> laughed; But 'twas I who was laughing, under my
>> >> breath, As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer
>> >> to death; And sure enough when Black November rolled
>> >> around, I was the last turkey left in the entire compound.
>> >> So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap; I haven't
>> >> a worry, so I eat and I nap; She held me today, while
>> >> sewing and humming, And smiled at me and said
>> >> "Christmas is coming..."

fp, that's great!! I'm rollin' on the floor

Very funny!