Sorry about another non-fishing related post but I couldnt help myself. I thought the following was too funny...

As voted on by users of the Web. There were over 100,000 votes recieved from 70 differnt countries.


Famed fictional detective Sherlock Holmes and his gruff assistant Doctor Watson pitch their tent while on a camping expedition, but in the middle of the night Holmes nudges Watson awake and questions him.

HOLMES: Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce.

WATSON: I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it is quite likely there are some planets like earth, and if there are a few planets like earth out there there might also be life.

HOLMES: Watson, you idiot! Somebody stole our tent.

This is a sick joke. If you are easily offended you certainly will be.

The trooper knocks on the Ladies door and says
"Ma'am , I have some good news for you and some bad news for you. The bad news is that y our son has been in a horrible car accident. He has been paralyzed from the neck down. You are going to have to bath him, feed him, clean him for the rest of his life.
The Woman, wailing cries
"Thats horrible, horrible what ever will I do, Whats the good News?"


Trooper -
"I'm kidding. He's Dead"

[ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: GutZ ]

Sick, but funny in a morbid way.

Here is the funniest one I've heard recently....
.
How do you make 3 old women say F***?
.
Have a 4th yell "BINGO"

I guess I have to add my funny....

Two friends go out for a morning of fishing and one says to the other, "Yesterday I got a fishing pole for my wife."

The friend replys back, "Really? What a GREAT trade!"

I had to share this. I thought it was great.

http://home.houston.rr.com/surrenderownz/auction.htm

BR,

Did you take a look at his choice in music he bought at auction? Pantera, Ozzy, Ramstein, Sepultera. Sounds like a good old fashioned Hitler Jungen candidate. I showed the description to folks in my office and they just howled!

Andy

Almost a date....
A man enter his favorite ritzy restraunt and while sitting at his regular table, he notice a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby....all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her- knowing that if she acceptsit, she is his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying that this is from the gentleman. She looks at the wine and decides to send a note over to the man. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in the garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants." The man, after reading the note, sends on of his own back to her and it read: "Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850il, and a Mercedes 560SL in my garage; plus I have over twenty million in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back."

GBS...the best head is steelhead???? maybe you need to get out more often and meet some women?? LOL j/k

This one is kind of crude but funny. and Long.

A family of four in the Back hills of Arkansas, Ma, Pa, Jimmy and little Suzy. one morning while Jimmy is out splitting wood ma and pa realize it's his eighteenth birthday. Ma say's to Pa don't you think it's about time we talked to Jimmy about sex. Pa agrees and goes to get Jimmy while Ma goes upstairs to get ready.
Pa: Jimmy let me ask you a question.

Jimmy: Sure Pa.

Pa: What you know about sex Boy?

Jimmy: Well you know I gots a good idea, I've seen the dogs and cattle do it. I think I know what's going on.

Pa: Well come up to the house and for you birthday me and ma are gonna teach you about sex.

Pa and Jimmy go upstairs and pa opens the bedroom door and there's ma buck naked spread eagle waiting for pa.

Pa: Now son I what you to pay close attention cuz this is what sex is all about. See that hole there between ma's legs? Watch this.

As pa mounts up on ma and gets busy, ma just into it hooting and hollering and all sorts of noise. Little Suzy hears the commotion and comes a running.

Suzy: Jimmy what's pa doing to ma why is she so upset.

Jimmy: Ma's no upset Suzy that's just sex.

Suzy: What's sex?

Jimmy: Well suzy I'll tell you. See that hole there between pa's legs? What this!!!!

brshooter that was great!

~ Dr Pepper

hadn't heard than one before svr.

LMAO

I wonder if that's what Hey Y'all means when he says "Watch This!!""""
j/k

that was scary...glad i dont live in the backwoods!!!

Ryan, I have a great joke but it is an attachment and I do not know how to get it on here. Is there anyway I could forward it to someone and have them put it up. It's a great blond one.fp

fp-
Send it to ryanpetzold@email.msn.com and Ill put it up here for 'ya!!

Q: What is the difference between anal sex and cooking in a microwave?

A: Cooking in a microwave won't brown your meat.

A couple goes into a classy restaurant and orders dinner. Just after the waitor delivers the soup the man drops his soup spoon. The waitor instantly pulls a place setting out of his pocket and gives the man a new spoon. The man is amazed that the waitor had thought to carry a place setting in his pocket. The man had to speak up "Why that is great that you had an extra palce setting in your pocket why did you start doing that?"

The waitor replyed "We had an efficiency expert in here a couple of weeks ago and he conluded that if we carry an extra place setting we will be able to save alot of time and provide better service"

The man replied "That is fascinating what else did he teach you?"

Waitor; "Well he told the men to tie a string around their penis, that way when we have to go to the bathroom we won't have to touch it and won't have to wash up after"

The man: "Very interesting... But how do you get it back in your pants if you don't touch it?"

Waitor "I don't know about the other guys but I usually use the soup spoon"


Hope you guys liked it!!!

SVR, your life experiences do not need to be spread amongst your fellow fisherman. I know that was a hard time in your life. I'm here for you bud!!

FishBelly, Nice one but I changed the names to disguise them so people wouldn't know it was your family. Don't you think Ma, Pa, Fishbelly, and fishbut would of been dead giveaways?
Later,
See ya on the river I'm leaving now.

Oldy but one of my faves:

Why do Somoans eyes get red after sex?


From the mace!

(PC disclaimer: Any ethnic group could be used here. Any Samoans please feel free to use Swede as that is my "group")