Due to increasing product liability litigation, American beer companies have accepted the FDA's suggestion that one or more of the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Now those are some appropriate warnings!

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

Way too funny....A friend and fishing buddy did this up in Canada at Hornby Island one night...We anchored the boat offshore and came in to a tavern full of commercial fishermen who bought us lots of Olde English 800 and OKeefe's Extra Stout...As we walked back to the boat my buddy who was **** faced jumped into the grasshopper Kung Fu stance and attacked me....I remember saying something like : "Here's you ****ing karate....." Then I pick him up and threw him over the bluff.

On weed, too?

Actually my Kung Fu friend smokes more weed than anyone I have ever known but that just makes him pass out and drop his beer...I think it is the alky hol that brings out the Bruce Lee syndrome.