Sard,
I think the reason you "don't get it" is that you are looking at things differently from the get-go. You are assuming Israel's right to exist. Suppose you thought that the creation of Israel was artificial and non-justified.?. Would you still honor the "right of conquest" if you felt Israel should not be there in the first place?
There are obviously a great many people of all persuasions who have not yet been convinced that Israel has any right at all to exist. I'm sure you know that. Doesn't that explain everything?